Welcome this

This is my 2nd attempt at blogging. Last year I did for 6 months, then I quit. It was a brief commitment. I did miss it. It was a good way to practice writing, documenting, editing, etc. When I canceled, without my knowledge, the hosting company also dropped my domains, all of them. Long story short, Dave got them back (miraculously) without me knowing (of course) so now I have them again.

What does that have to do with me blogging again? Well... Originally I planned on hosting my new blog on one of my domains. It was how I did it before. Another opinion, however, pushed me to try doing it differently. This guy I met at Thanksgiving Party said blogspot is a good alternative. Since he is a serious and long term blogger, and a friend of Dave's, I took his suggestion in, digested it, and now decided to follow it.

Perhaps I just wanted to change. I said. Why not take a different step?

It hasn't been the best or most satisfying beginning this year. I first found out my I-485 was overlooked, or passed on, or for whatever reason, not approved. According to the bulletin date, which is now 7-19-2006, but my case was filed 2 months prior, which means (usually) my I-485 should have been OK-ed by the USCIS. It's not. I haven't heard any news. Lawyer said the bulletin date means little. They are still working on pending cases. However, experience-wise, the date is generally a sound indicator specifying the approval progress. I don't know what happened this time around. On top of this, I found out there were other applicants who filed after me already received their I-485. I was told I was one of their unfortunate cases. In fact. I was top 1 unluckiest client.

No thanks. I don't want that title. I have waited 6+ years, not counting the 1 year right after college, for this to realize. It's been a long bumpy road. Sure I stay positive. I say to myself I still have a chance. I humor my bad luck. I try anyway. It's the only method to stay sane and on course.

Last Wednesday I knocked over one of the speakers Dave got me. That loud drop to the floor chipped it one of the back corners. It was small, still I felt so terrible. That night was painful. I talked to myself, tried not to elevate this pity-fest, but the feeling was overwhelming. It was as if the world was pooping on me. God I didn't want to go there but my mind took me anyway.

Next day, Thursday, Chinese New Year, I ran a yellow light and saw this camera flash glaring quickly right when I was crossing under the light. It felt awful. I got online, surfed the pages where people wrote about the traffic cameras and how expensive the tickets were. I was devastated. I kept thinking this had to end - this string of bad luck - What the f- is going on?

Then of course this Tuesday I got a speeding ticket. I was pulled over, and told I was driving 49 on 35 speed zone. I was not even aware that I was speeding. I knew for sure I was perfectly lawful and perhaps just went a little fast between these two streets. Needless to say, that little Point A to Point A1 was my doom. I had never had a problem driving on Soto St before. Seriously, what is going on here?

I would like to think this was some kind of coincidence. Bad kind obviously. I would also like to imagine this was a way the nature showing me my time at this job is about to change, like it is giving me really bad goodbye presents. I totally would like to believe that I was just getting through a bunch of bad sh*t now so the rest of 2008 will be a very smooth ride.

I would sure like to look at silver linings and turn negative thoughts around. I really would, but it's hard.