Stuffed

I'm feeling stuffed today. Actually my tummy's fine, it's my mind that's full with stuff. More specifically, mom stuff.

I talked with mom last night. It was more like she talking, me listening. That was never fun. Among the things she poured into my head was my grandfather, family history, my dad, his flaws (her favorite topic), my godmother's summer visit, and Christianity. I was taking it all in, mindlessly, while watching DWTS. I wish I watched KY's performance with the music, but I was "talking" to mom, so I had the TV muted.

It really bothered me that she promised my godmother that I would take a weekend out to show them around, without talking to me first. It also really bothered me that she asked me to go to church because she believed it would help me. I just felt mad and incredibly frustrated because ... how should I say this, it was like she was telling me that I am not good or capable enough yet, and I should change the way I live my life. Maybe that is true, maybe that's what all parents do or say to their kids, but that doesn't make it any easier or better to digest.

I feel seriously irritated whenever she starts to tell me this or that will improve my life. We don't necessarily have the best histories and when she starts to play the mom role, it just rubs me the wrong way. Right now I hope I have something planned good in the summer and won't be around then to be a driver. I feel bad saying that. And next time she's pouring and pouring, I'm going to tell her to stop. She's just airing out her thoughts and I don't want to be her audience.

I'm just stuffed with my mom's "advice"and ready to explode.