Shanghai Surprise

I woke up early this morning, started thinking about the job situation, and was unable to fall back to sleep. 2 weeks have passed and many fleeting thoughts after, I have gained a clearer - or perhaps I should say - less clouded perspective on where I will stand once my vacation is over. Certainly I will continue to search for jobs when I return. That part won't change. What changes is that I am open to work in a different state, maybe even in a different country. 

Right now I am thinking about this year's premiere episode of Ugly Betty, where Betty comes back from her trip and decides she is relocating to a bigger city. That daring move caused her lots of headache and losing of a close friend. I don't want to say that my life suddenly mirrors the show, but it does come pretty close. 

During one of the rides in Hubei a strange, unexpected sadness ran through me. I eerily sensed that I will leave Dave... soon. Tears started to form around my eyes and I had to wipe them off quickly. I have been so very close to Dave and the thought of losing that closeness and support scares and saddens me. Is this merely a ghost of my imagination or some kind of a foreshadowing of what is to come? I can't say. 

I have grown more and more intrigued, even fascinated by China - particularly Shanghai -each day I get to spend here. This wasn't exactly what I expected when I planned my trip. The city, the people, the opportunities, and the possibilities excite and ignite my tired and weary spirit. When I walk on the street or look outside the apartment window, I see a side of life and energy that I haven't experienced in a long time. Yes, some fragments of this excitement are the new surroundings, things that I have never felt, touched, smelled, or seen before. I can't deny the fact that simply being in the newness enthralls me.

Then again, the job opportunities and career potentials in China indeed seem healthier, for me anyways. Mom's right, for my desired industry and paths forward, my specific qualifications and skillset in LA might have been fine, but in Shanghai they are almost excellent. If I can find a better job in a different city across the globe or country - and I don't mean a job with a better pay - but with a better career outlook and more rewarding work experience, this might just be the real goal and push that I have been looking for since the day I received my green card.

Thinking about the future, especially one that shines brightly, keeps my eyes wide open. I have to admit, I had anticipated this to happen AFTER the trip, certainly not DURING it! Today I am awaken gradually. I will accept and embrace the new, even if it means that I will face heartaches and tears. I tell myself, if I find the right job and relocation must take place, the leave will be temporary. I don't want to and can't be away from Dave too far and too long. However, I need and crave a better career. And I will take on any necessary fight to get there.