Blunt

I had a normal day today. I had work, had nap, and had gym. Pretty standard. I haven't been hanging out with my neighbor much these days. I was over at her place one night last week and after she told me how sick she was feeling again, I kind of flipped. She was always ill. I usually was sympathetic, but last week I was just... I told her that she needed to tell her doctor what she was feeling and she should change her doctor if she couldn't trust her diagnosis or treatment. I wish I wasn't so short to react like that, but I was very frustrated. She has a tendency to complain about this, about that, then more about this and that some more. The talk's repetitive, it can drag on and on, and it doesn't seem to improve. I would listen, and suggest ways to take care of herself and her pains, but there was always something else, some reason that would hold her back, that would cause her to not cut the cycle of issues. She couldn't make her doctor's appointment. The doctor didn't care what she said. The drugs she gave her made her sick, etc. I was always dumbfounded when she said she couldn't eat because she was having stomach pains, then she went ahead and ate butter and drank coffee. I don't know, if you're having stomachache dairy or coffee doesn't sound like the best choice of food to have. I told her that too, but she would shrugged it off, and continued to feel ill. Ugh! I feel bad for being blunt. At the same time, I just cannot take in any of her daily "I'm sick" speech anymore. I get it, she's depressed. I am too, but I don't lay it on her every time I see her. Ugh! I don't know. I feel like I'm a jerk. She's always been nice to me, why can't I just shut up and listen? I think I am already fed up with my own crap and I see myself going through that stupid cycle internally and I can't get out. I hope I don't whine and whine to my friends, I am really really sorry if I act like that. My neighbor was apologetic after I told her that every time I see her she's doing this, and she said she would stop, which is why I haven't seen her much... I hate making my friends feel bad, because in turn that makes me feel like an inconsiderate moron. I did have to react though. I wanted her to see that she could help herself, the choice's hers. Kind of like repeating that to me, hahaha. We'll see what happens next.