The temperature dropped and got surprisingly cold last night. This morning it was the same: windy, cloudy, and chilly. I remember just a couple of weekends ago the temperature reached 100° and everybody wanted to escape to the mall or simply started turning on the AC at home. What happened? This morning it was so cold I was contemplating wearing a sweatshirt before I left for work.
The sun just came out now. I don't get it.
08 May 2008
07 May 2008
Bad day
Dave had a bad day today. I remember I had one of those back in March. I should say there were several that came and came again, just few days apart. Nothing seemed to work right, and everything felt like pointless or could turn into another disaster. Talking about how these events unfold, sharing my thoughts and frustration, knowing someone else could relate to what I went through, and finally having a laugh about it all helped relieve the tension I had inside. It felt good to be there and offer my support. I think by the time we were having dinner Dave was in a much better mood and spirit. Yay for friends.
06 May 2008
Travel
One of my co-workers came to have a small chat this morning. She mentioned that she was in Europe once and visited several countries. We talked about the foods there and how she wished she could go back again. Later today Z emailed me and in the letter he wrote vividly the foods and cultural differences he experienced and learned from his trips around Europe. Suddenly I had this deeply inadequate, oh-why-haven't-I-seen-more-of-this-world, feeling.
I have never been the adventurous type. I stick to what I know. I am safe, practical, grounded, and kind of boring. If I were more of a risk taker, I would probably be traveling, tasting all kinds of foods, meeting all sorts of people, and putting my footprints everywhere. Instead, I'm standing here, typing, thinking, worrying, and feeling inadequate. I tend to make choices that involve the least uncertainty and yes, risk. I fear if I overextend myself or step out of my comfort zone my life may take a tumble, and I won't be able to recover. I don't know if I'm a product of the environment, but I am sure in the end of the day, I make the decisions myself, therefore I can't blame anyone or look at others when my life looks or feels lackluster. Of course I'm human and there are times I want to say, "My parents made me this way!" Yea, perhaps. But I did grow up without too much parenting, so that's not a proper justification.
On the one hand, I like how everything is stable and predictable. The outlook is even and steady. There isn't a lot of room for surprises. On the other hand, I don't get to experience what this world offers as much, and I miss certain opportunities to grow. I don't know. How am I doing so far? Do I have the right priorities? Am I doing the best I can? Am I making the right decisions?
All I know is. I can't wait for the change that is about to come. And please. COME SOON!
I have never been the adventurous type. I stick to what I know. I am safe, practical, grounded, and kind of boring. If I were more of a risk taker, I would probably be traveling, tasting all kinds of foods, meeting all sorts of people, and putting my footprints everywhere. Instead, I'm standing here, typing, thinking, worrying, and feeling inadequate. I tend to make choices that involve the least uncertainty and yes, risk. I fear if I overextend myself or step out of my comfort zone my life may take a tumble, and I won't be able to recover. I don't know if I'm a product of the environment, but I am sure in the end of the day, I make the decisions myself, therefore I can't blame anyone or look at others when my life looks or feels lackluster. Of course I'm human and there are times I want to say, "My parents made me this way!" Yea, perhaps. But I did grow up without too much parenting, so that's not a proper justification.
On the one hand, I like how everything is stable and predictable. The outlook is even and steady. There isn't a lot of room for surprises. On the other hand, I don't get to experience what this world offers as much, and I miss certain opportunities to grow. I don't know. How am I doing so far? Do I have the right priorities? Am I doing the best I can? Am I making the right decisions?
All I know is. I can't wait for the change that is about to come. And please. COME SOON!
05 May 2008
Stressed
Dave and Jose came by yesterday afternoon and we went to a small Chinese restaurant called Tasty Noodle House for lunch. It might be new, so it's not yet listed on Yelp. The food overall was satisfactory, well-balanced, and yes tasty. It was cheap too. Many dishes were in the "3 items for $10" special menu. Yay for cheap Chinese food!
We then went to see Baby Mama. The movie was better than I expected. The laughs were less shocking and adult, and more lighthearted and family-friendly. There were several bigger and more established actors co-starring in this movie, and I was surprised all the marketing so far only focused on Tina Fey. Since the movie was #1 last weekend, I guess she has proven that she's more than just a comedienne and script writer, she's now a also proven a box office draw.
I was feeling stressed last night and still am today. It has been a month since I started looking for jobs and I still haven't gotten any call back. I tell myself to be patient but sometimes the stress gets to me. I applied to more places today and that helped me feel less anxious. A little stress is good - It pushes me to get moving. Too much of it is not good - It causes me to lose sleep. I am learning to manage it. Let's hope for the best.
We then went to see Baby Mama. The movie was better than I expected. The laughs were less shocking and adult, and more lighthearted and family-friendly. There were several bigger and more established actors co-starring in this movie, and I was surprised all the marketing so far only focused on Tina Fey. Since the movie was #1 last weekend, I guess she has proven that she's more than just a comedienne and script writer, she's now a also proven a box office draw.
I was feeling stressed last night and still am today. It has been a month since I started looking for jobs and I still haven't gotten any call back. I tell myself to be patient but sometimes the stress gets to me. I applied to more places today and that helped me feel less anxious. A little stress is good - It pushes me to get moving. Too much of it is not good - It causes me to lose sleep. I am learning to manage it. Let's hope for the best.
03 May 2008
No plans
I woke up today with no plans. There was of course grocery shopping to do, rooms to clean, and traffic school to enroll. I did not feel like doing any of that "important" stuff today. I watched random TV shows and ate leftover food for breakfast + lunch. There was this movie, Zoom, that was pretty horrendous. It was not fun, or fresh, or entertaining. Of course I finished watching it! I had to know how bad it could be, and it was bad!
PK called me and we decided to go see Iron Man. The theater was packed and we had to switch to a later time because the 2:00 show was already sold out. We walked around the area and returned to wait in line half an hour later. I was worried with all these people and children, I would be miserable in the theater. Luckily we found ourselves great seats and the kids around us were also very well behaved. I was surprised and happy.
The movie is good. The characters are well-developed and believable. The special effects are seamless and storyline is strong and simple. I would prefer the villain to be a little more threatening and the device more menacing, but overall it is a solid superhero movie.
PK and I then had burger and burrito for dinner. Now I'm back at home and still, no plans for the evening. Maybe more bad TV. Hahaha.
PK called me and we decided to go see Iron Man. The theater was packed and we had to switch to a later time because the 2:00 show was already sold out. We walked around the area and returned to wait in line half an hour later. I was worried with all these people and children, I would be miserable in the theater. Luckily we found ourselves great seats and the kids around us were also very well behaved. I was surprised and happy.
The movie is good. The characters are well-developed and believable. The special effects are seamless and storyline is strong and simple. I would prefer the villain to be a little more threatening and the device more menacing, but overall it is a solid superhero movie.
PK and I then had burger and burrito for dinner. Now I'm back at home and still, no plans for the evening. Maybe more bad TV. Hahaha.
02 May 2008
4 word reviews
Loose. Fun. Bouncy. Natural.
Simple. Pleasant. Consistent. Comfortable.
Jumpy. Edgy. Controlled. Processed.
Future-ish. Electronic-y. Uneven. Chilly.
01 May 2008
Grumpy
I had a bad day at work today. A master file I spent the entire morning building and modifying suddenly got corrupted when it was just beginning to look right. It could not be opened again. I was so mad. I went online and looked for possible solutions. I even downloaded a program and hoped it would fix my file. It didn't.
Just when I grew more and more upset by the second, different people started to come into my office and I was inundated with random work requests. I am sure I had a terrible look on my face when everyone saw me. My mind was not in a calm state, so I tried to cope with this nasty mood and take care of the issues at hand. Then I checked my email.
PK wrote me to ask about the shows that we might see in Vegas. I IM-ed him and got into a long and messy conversation about the trip. Hearing PK talking about what he would like to do and what he would like to see irritated me. I did not bring it up, but when I was on the phone with Sylvia later, I asked her, "Why couldn't he ask me if I was interested in what he was proposing? Why didn't he consider activities that might interest me? Why does it have to be about what he enjoys and what he wants all the time?"
Then I figured out my problem. PK is not talking my language. I want options and considerations. I want to feel I matter and am thought of. I want to hear that it is not just what he wants, I want to also hear that he is thinking about what I want or might not want. Yes that's expecting a lot from someone. It's generally how I go about things with someone I care about, however for most people, it's like a boyfriend or girlfriend or family member thing to do. Some just don't do that with friends.
I shouldn't expect that from PK. Sylvia listened to my rant quietly and said, "You're so grumpy!"
She had no idea.
Just when I grew more and more upset by the second, different people started to come into my office and I was inundated with random work requests. I am sure I had a terrible look on my face when everyone saw me. My mind was not in a calm state, so I tried to cope with this nasty mood and take care of the issues at hand. Then I checked my email.
PK wrote me to ask about the shows that we might see in Vegas. I IM-ed him and got into a long and messy conversation about the trip. Hearing PK talking about what he would like to do and what he would like to see irritated me. I did not bring it up, but when I was on the phone with Sylvia later, I asked her, "Why couldn't he ask me if I was interested in what he was proposing? Why didn't he consider activities that might interest me? Why does it have to be about what he enjoys and what he wants all the time?"
Then I figured out my problem. PK is not talking my language. I want options and considerations. I want to feel I matter and am thought of. I want to hear that it is not just what he wants, I want to also hear that he is thinking about what I want or might not want. Yes that's expecting a lot from someone. It's generally how I go about things with someone I care about, however for most people, it's like a boyfriend or girlfriend or family member thing to do. Some just don't do that with friends.
I shouldn't expect that from PK. Sylvia listened to my rant quietly and said, "You're so grumpy!"
She had no idea.
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