Sichuan earthquake

The situation in Sichuan, China is getting worse by the minute. This article from NY Times is particularly heartbreaking. I cannot imagine the pain, hurt, and anger they are experiencing. Their loss is immeasurable. Please take a moment of silence for the earthquake's victims and their families.

Keyboard

I won! I have been visiting eBay to look for a used Mac keyboard since last week. I know I could've just bought a regular PC USB keyboard, but after the last one I got, a "Microsoft 4000" that died only after one year, I thought I should stop cheating and go back to Apple. My iMac is like the 1st or 2nd generation model anyway, so it wouldn't make sense to buy a new, "wireless," or "bluetooth," keyboard. I just need something basic and in working condition. Where else can I find one like that? Yes I thought about Craiglist, but I felt more comfortable buying it off eBay.

In the end I paid $30.56 (including shipping) for a used black color + transparent keyboard. It was in an OK shape as its back was scratched. After I won the bid and finished the payment, I saw one of those related ads showed up in the log out page - I saw the same keyboard could go as low as $28 total and in a brand spanking new condition too! Oh well - Too late!

Someone's bitch

Work today got intense very quickly. My boss emailed me on this particular item in our catalog and said, "XYZ picture is bad. Look on the internet and learn."

What?! LEARN?! What the hell?

Why did he start my day like this? The picture seemed fine to me. If he wanted it in certain way, why didn't he just tell me exactly how he would like it photographed? I was pissed. My manager didn't have a good solution. There was nothing like it on the internet either. Soon that item got put away with the catalog because my boss started to fire email after email my way. I was working on finishing the ad my manager wanted and at the same time, fending off demands from my boss.

He was definitely on to me this morning. I didn't reply to one of the emails he sent, so he emailed me again and asked me for an answer right then. What the F? My boss was acting like a kid. I felt my blood rushing fast and furious. I wrote him back and set him straight. I told him I had to prioritize and I was sorry that one of the requests he sent me was not on the top of my list, because I was focused on finishing up the ad my manager asked me to make. I would get to his thing as soon as I was done with the ad. Or did he want me to stop working on the ad? I would if he asked me to.

He wrote back quickly and told me to work on his stuff when I had the time. GOOD!

I was kept busy all day and I didn't even get a chance to send out any resumes or applications, ha! Sigh. I totally understand I'm someone's bitch. It's just that his attitude can be so brash and harsh.

Then tonight I had the pleasure to watch an episode of Hell's Kitchen. No, my boss is nowhere like Chef Ramsey. Thank goodness!

I did have this thought running in my head over and over, "I want a new job - NOW!"

Down and up

I didn't get a good night of sleep last night, and I woke up feeling irritable. When I got to work there were some stuff to do, so I didn't have time to think about the talk I had with mom. However, after I finished some work and sent my resume out, the annoying exchange I had with mom re-emerged in my head. I tried hard to figure out why it still bothered me. Of course, the more I thought about it the more I felt irritated and down.

After lunch Jen and I began to chat on Google. She agreed with me that my mom was definitely feeling guilty and moreover, she was projecting without being aware of it. It was understandable and she didn't mean any harm. Jen reminded me again that she's my mother, and even if she had her faults, her mistakes usually came from good intentions. Hearing Jen's perspective through a tiny chat window was surprisingly effective. I felt better after we chatted. Lastly Jen told me I must forgive her. I said I told my mom that already. She said saying it and doing it are two different things. Sigh - I don't know - I thought I did? Maybe I didn't. I know I still hang on to all the troubled memories to keep myself from getting hurt again. I know, I have issues.

After the gym I went to a local Asian market that I had not been to in a while. I got frozen soybeans and carton soymilk all in one place. I was happy. So it really doesn't take a lot to make me happy. A good friend. Knowing that someone gets me. Finding and getting exactly what I want on sale. There, the bad mood is gone.

Talk

Today's Mother's Day. Like most people's moms, mine is a lot of work. We had a short talk on Skype this afternoon and it got very frustrating. It sounded like she was feeling guilty again and I just didn't want to be that person to say "I turned out fine" one more time. And I did end up saying it, which made the talk even more redundant and frustrating.

Everyone is imperfect. I know and accept that. One of the issues today was that she felt bad that I seemed fine being alone. I think it's great to share life with someone special. If it happens, that's great. If it doesn't, there's nothing wrong doing things myself. Another issue was that she felt I refused her help. That part is 100% true. While she's doing OK, I doubt she's in the position to give help. Sigh. I did what I could to better myself. I know I have issues, but who doesn't? I just want my relationship with her to be stable and without big expectations.

I prefer to believe that most mothers have certain issues. Everyone's imperfect, that includes mothers.

Productive Saturday

I woke up this morning and decided to get the traffic school out of the way. I used GoToTrafficSchool which was referred to me by Cameron. I chose their cheapest online package and there I went. Cameron's print-out answers were 60% helpful. The site didn't ask the exact same questions each time. And sometimes the questions or the answers were either recomposed or rearranged. If I couldn't find the answers from Cameron's cheat sheets I must hit the "previous" button to re-read the chapter to find the right answers. Often when I came back to answer the questions, they were not the same anymore. So I would either have to re-read again, or do a quick search on Google to get the answers. Still, it was better than sitting in a classroom with 50 strangers for 6 - 7 hours.

I went out to have lunch with TY today. He decided we should eat at Mariposa because he said Fred Segal would be too busy to get in today. There were a lot of people out shopping because of Mother's Day. We had to wait 30 min to get into the restaurant. He ordered salmon salad and I had crabcake caesar salad. My salad came out like an art piece. Everything was inside a grilled parmesan cheese made bowl. It was yummy. We walked around Neiman Marcus and checked out Saks Fifth too. TY said we should go to Bloomingdale's since he knew they had a bigger sale. When we got to Century City Mall, we couldn't find any parking. The shopping crowd was definitely out in full force today. We decided to get some ice cream instead. TY took me to this casual, friendly Italian restaurant called Al Gelato on Robertson and we got ourselves one scoop of rainbow, one scoop of cappuccino gelato and a slice of their tiramisu. Everything's homemade there. I liked what we ordered, but I thought Dave's tiramisu tasted better. They had this red velvet cake that looked amazing. On display they also had a lemon coconut cake - Dave's favorite. Maybe he and Jose can check this place out some time. After this quick dessert we went to Beverly Center to continue our nonspending window shopping.

When I came back from the mall I was quite tired. I finally finished the exams and went out to have dinner with Dave and Jose. They also had a big day shopping, eating and napping. I didn't get to nap today, but I was productive. Tomorrow I am going to relax and maybe see a movie.

Tax incentive

I checked my account this morning and saw it was beefed up slightly. Yay! Every little bit helps. I am happy to get that "tax incentive," which will come in handy next month when my car insurance is due. I know, I don't get to enjoy shopping much anymore. I would love to one day.

I do need a new keyboard. For some reason, my iMac seems to live on year after year while the keyboard I pair it with keeps on dying. So there's that to buy. Nothing too exciting.

I watched a great documentary / one man show This Filthy World last night. I have always been a huge fan of John Waters' movies. They aren't technically good, but always have a strong, in-your-face, and strangely innocent, point of view. They are pure at core, hilarious of course, and although imperfect, always cheer and salute my inner weirdo. In this documentary he talks openly about things he finds funny, how to shock or "inspire" Americans and children, everyday "average" people in his hometown Baltimore, actors he worked with, and of course his films. He is provocative, extremely observant and engaging. I was so happy to have caught him on Showtime last night.