Pictures!

I finally scanned the pictures Jen took when we had the celebration. Too bad I don't have a picture with Jen. Note: This formatting in blogger is weird! I can't seem to get it to look right. Oh well.

Better

I went home after the gym last night and watched TV for the rest of the evening. The truth was, I was still feeling the aftershock, so sitting down, staring at the TV, and letting my mind wander really helped relax me. As usual, DWTS was a lot of fun. I can't remember what I watched after that. I halfheartedly watched the show that followed, then I switched to VH1. My head definitely got the distraction it needed by the end of the night.

Once I was off the couch, I began thinking about Z's letter again. Now around midnight, I felt less sad or down, and the emotions were also less heavy. I had admitted to myself that I was still hurt by it and was just as embarrassed. I had told myself and everyone before that this was fine and this conclusion was for the best, but deep down I couldn't prevent myself from experiencing the pain and that aching, that tightness in my chest when I found out that our relationship had clearly ended. It was a moment I thought I was ready for, but when it actually dropped in front of my eyes, I was not as prepared as I thought.

Understanding the reason why I felt the pain and confusion helped lift the weight somehow. Of course there is still hurt, but I am doing better today than yesterday.

Hot

It was so hot last night, I couldn't sleep. I was in bed, tossing and turning, sweating, thinking. It was probably the caffeine in the tea that I had at Dave's. Or was it Z's email? I think I had less than 2 hours of sleep. I thought about getting up and watching TV or doing something else besides trying to sleep. My mind was going all directions, racing. I was exhausted but I couldn't rest. I drifted in and out of sleep, mostly out. I got up to have another glass of water. I went to the bathroom once. I turned the fan on, then when it got cooler I got up again to turn it off. It's not fun.

I hope I can sleep better tonight.

Weekend updates

PK and I saw Harold and Kumar 2 yesterday. In short, it's better than the original. We laughed so much and so hard. We couldn't believe how over-the-top hilarious and offensive some of the scenes were. This is one of those movies that you can't predict where it is going, it is outrageous and dumb and totally funny. I hope they will make another sequel!

Today I went to Dave's and Jose helped me design my portfolio site. Jose's multi-talented, he can have my job if he wants. He's that good.

I got an email from Z today. He has met another guy whom he fell in love with. Of course I feel sad, it means this chapter is officially over. At the same time, I am also very happy for him. He deserves someone who is just as great as him. Goodbye Z. And congrats on your new love, new move, new step forward :)

Kill

I hung out with Megan last night. We went to Paseo Colorado Pasadena to do some shopping. She bought some skincare items and then we went to California Pizza Kitchen two blocks down for dinner. I was not sure about this place, as I told her, CPK screamed mainstream and franchised. She laughed about that comment and told me she had wanted to try it for a long time and she didn't mind being mainstream, sometimes. We ordered Mango Tandoori Chicken Pizza and Sicilian Neopolean-style pizza. We both like the Indian inspired one a lot more. It was like when you had Naan with tandoori chicken and curry on the side, but with everything on top of the bread sprinkled with chunks of mango, and instead of Naan, it's pizza bread. Sicilian pizza came very thin and crusty. It tasted fine, perhaps more familiar and definitely saltier in flavor. We finished both pizzas and were way stuffed.

After having some shaved ice for dessert (I know, more food!), I came home to Mr. Chirp's full on orchestra. It was loud and obnoxious. I stormed into the bathroom and knocked the door a few times, which seemed to quiet him down. I became more annoyed with myself for not getting the bug spray earlier and thinking he would have an extra day to irritate me. As I was having some water in the kitchen I heard him going at it again! ARRGH! I was furious. I went back to the bathroom and started to shake the door violently. I held the door knob with my right hand and shook it hard for about a minute. Then I switched to my left hand and shook the door wildly for another 2 - 3 minutes. Just when I stopped to catch my breath I saw it - There he was - Mr. Chirp fell on the floor and looked somewhat puzzled. He pause for a second and immediately made a run for the door. There's no way I was going to let him escape to hide under or inside the bathroom door again! I grabbed this just worn t-shirt, threw on top of Mr. Chirp, and began smashing. I crushed, I stepped, I squeezed, I abused that shirt with him in it. There was only one objective in my head, "I must KILL KILL KILL!!!"

After I felt I did all I could to Mr. Chirp (my poor shirt...), I still wasn't sure if he was still breathing. I couldn't risk that chance. I grabbed a plastic bag, put my shirt in it, tightened the bag so even if he came back to life he would still be trapped in there. I wasn't going to dump my shirt though. I planned to do my laundry and let the washer machine take care of his either dead or half-dead body. Yes I know I sound intense and slightly crazy, but try to understand, this bug aka Mr. Chirp had been bothering me for more than two weeks, imagine losing sleep, being distracted from your favorite TV shows, and not being able to stop it, until now!

The victory is indeed sweet. Even though I can still hear other Chirpsie's singing, I know he's no longer in my apartment. And if he is, and more specifically, hiding in the bathroom door, I know now how to get him good! And dead!

Bug

Mr. Chirp was again lively last night. He kept "singing" while I watched TV. I showed my neighbor the bathroom, just so she didn't think I was crazy when I told her there was a bug hiding in the corner, or inside the door. I knocked the door a few times to quiet it down. It didn't work. A few minutes later he always came back and went at it with full force.

PK came over after 9 PM to watch LOST together and I showed him the door too. He suggested that I should use some bug spray, since we really could not see exactly where it was hiding and the fume would hopefully kill it. Mr. Chirp went on and on and on last night. It was driving me mad. I knocked, shook, kicked, and abused the door throughout the evening. PK seemed amused.

I am buying that bug spray after work tonight. Mr. Chirp I'm gonna get you!

Car Wash

I had been thinking about taking my car to a car wash for a while now. I did some leather "wiping / conditioning" inside over the weekend, but the exterior looked very dirty. I did attempt to clean it myself a week ago, but I didn't do a good job. Water-marks and dust built-up just developed quickly. My car needed the professional touch.

I decided to go to the one near the freeway this morning. I hastily cleaned up the junk I had in the car before I left home, just so the vacuuming or dusting elsewhere would be easier. When I arrived at the car wash, I noticed that their price had gone up. Immediately I changed my mind and drove past it. Yea, it was just $1 dollar increase, still, I wasn't going to do it. The reason? Me cheap, and last time I went there they didn't do that great of a job.

I decided to go to another car wash that I had only seen but not been to before. It was farther, and I actually wasn't sure of their price. 15 minutes later I found it, and was surprised that this place cost another $1 more than the first car wash! Sigh. I could just leave and go to work, but I didn't. I thought I would give them a try. Perhaps they would do a better job than the one I almost went to earlier. Besides, my car really was begging hard for a good wash.

Well. This place did ok. Inside there was still some water dried spots. Outside my car looked fine. I guess unless I went for the "deluxe detail package," the regular car wash would always be just so so.

Still. Better than none.

Mom's birthday

Today is mom's birthday. I called her a few times last night, but she never answered. Then she called me back an hour later and I got to wish her a very happy birthday.

I also talked to Hui Fang on MSN before I went to bed. She was having a difficult time deciding whether to go through with her surgery next month or not. A friend of hers took her clothes to someone, who looked at or examined her clothes and told her friend to tell her not to have the surgery this year. I know, I didn't quite understand it either. That person sounded like a special kind of a psychic or fortune teller. It was clear she took his words very seriously. So I said if she truly was not ready, she should take care of her body now and visit her doctor every month for the rest of the year. When January finally comes, I told her, she can do it then. She liked my idea.

I called mom again this morning to tell her about HF's condition and her interest in starting an online shopping site and that she might call her for suggestions. Mom was sympathetic and enthusiastic about talking to HF. I don't know if it's a good idea to introduce them. Dad got HF a job years ago at his friend's company, and ended up causing her much grief and resentment towards her boss, who happened to be my dad's friend. Also, mom isn't the most reliable person I know. I wonder if this will turn out badly. Let's hope not.

Crowded

Today the gym was extra crowded. I walked in and was surprised that there were at least 7 people waiting in line for one of the elliptical machines. I decided to go downstairs and do the other stuff first. And it happened again! The weight area was packed with people too. Note to self: Tuesday has become a busy busy night at the gym.

I can't say I was very motivated today. I felt SLOW. Then I saw some of the guys at the gym who were in great shape and wondered what their regime was like. That actually helped me. I turned my "move dial" to ON. There was this fit dude who had tattoos on his arms and his back. He wore a wife-beater and he looked like a mean, tough, bad-ass pornstar / rockstar. I wonder if he has an office job, eats any carbs, or ever smiles. He sure doesn't look like an average 9 - 5 person on the street. Probably a gardener? Or a gangster?

S.O.M. was there today too. Fortunately I found a machine far far away from his sweaty ass. I am sorry, I just can't stand his smell. I'm sure he' a nice man. No I don't intend to find out if he truly is nice. I just prefer to keep my distance whenever I'm in rather close proximity to him.

I was feeling slow, then somewhat motivated, then envious, and finally, relieved. A typical day at the gym.

Bad knee & Sleeplessness

Today I checked my visa balance and finally, FINALLY, Macy's refunded the e-card I mistakenly ordered for Jen. That was a good start this morning.

At work I was asked to start making a new email advertisement. I found time inbetween test-runs to check on job ads and sent my resume to one company. There were two other places that I was interested in applying, but one's email box got full and the other job was no longer available when I was ready to send. It just shows there are lots of job seekers out there. Must have determination and patience patience patience.

My left knee was hurting today and I didn't sleep well last night. I am not sure if the two were related. I was tossing and turning all night last night, and couldn't do it anymore. I finally woke up for good at 5 am this morning. I credited Dave's birthday party for my sleeplessness. I guess I was still excited over the whole event even when it was over hours ago when I went to bed. It was definitely a great dinner party, old and new friends, laughs and surprises, too joyful for sleeping! But that doesn't explain my knee. Oh well, I still went to the gym and it was fine afterwards.

Movies

I saw two good movies this weekend. I didn't expect either to be great, and they both surpassed my expectations.

Forgetting Sarah Mashall seems like another silly comedy. It is anything but. Everyone can relate to a bad breakup and this movie shows how two likable leads face, deal and move on from such a mess with honesty and humor. Yes the humor at times are raunchy and crude, that does not mean the film is any less truthful or effective as a romantic comedy. The acting is good, the characters are well-written, and the story is often hilarious, sometimes moving, and definitely relate-able. It was a good time from the beginning to end.

Forbidden Kingdom unites Jackie Chan and Jet Li for the first time. I grew up watching Jackie Chan's action comedies and later followed most of Jet Li's films too. I had mixed feelings when I heard the movie was being made. Their American films have not been that good and putting them together, well I just don't know. PK already saw it on Friday and wrote his own review, so I had some confidence when I went into the theater. The movie, is definitely entertaining, and made for teens (or kids). Jackie has the funniest, better lines of the two, and the fight between them is amazing. It's long overdue and totally deserving a high recommendation for any Jackie or Jet Li fans.

Tonight's Dave's big night. I am preparing the presents and will go to the restaurant early to get the event started. What a weekend :)

Checking houses

I had some time at work this morning and was reading random news articles. I came across this one about buying houses. I thought, "Oh I wonder if the prices in my area are any cheaper?"

I went to Movoto.com and typed in the cities I was interested in and found a few that I thought were cheap. I looked at their maps and locations, checked out the specs and photos, and fantasized about owning a house. I saw one that was a 3 bedroom house and cost only $300,000! There was only one picture of it posted, a front view of the house, but I made up everything else in my head. 

I started to imagine how nice it would be to live there. How convenient it would be to commute from that house to my new job. 

Then it hit me. I don't have a new, or better paying job. I don't have any savings. And I don't have this and that and that and THAT.

I closed that browser window and went back to work.  

The weekend is almost here

I am happy the weekend is almost here. However I am worried one last piece of Dave's present is not going to make it before the big day. Sigh. Nothing I can do at this point, it is on the way, and if it's late, he'll get it next week.

The gift drama that started with Jen continues. Macy's still hasn't refunded my account. I check the visa balance online every morning. Their phone representative said that they had just finalized the credit on Tuesday and might take up to 10 days to see it on my account. That's just great. Sigh.

Job search is going well. No I have not heard or got anything solid back. The hunt is going to be at least a couple of months. I am prepared if it's going to drag on even longer. Yes I am glad I didn't quit my current job, so I can still pay my rent.

The weekend is almost here, but I am not feeling too settled. Many things are still up in the air, and plus, Dave's birthday is going to be exciting. After his big day, it will be months before I do any more gift shopping for anyone. Thank goodness!

Losing sleep

For the last few days I have been losing sleep. My bathroom door, or this specific corner, suddenly starts to make a sharp chirping noise after 1 or 2 o'clock in the morning. At first I wasn't sure if the sound came from the outside or inside of my apartment, but after being woken up more than once and carefully investigating the source of that noise, I discovered it was originated in my bathroom.

It's creepy. Because I can't see what it is exactly that has been making that chirping noise every early morning. I only know it's probably in the door, or by the door, or under the tile beneath the door. Somewhere somehow in that corner of the bathroom lives a creature that enjoys singing out loud, or rather, disrupting my sleep regularly. I would get out of the bed, walk into the bathroom, shake or hit the door, wait for the noise to stop, and go back to sleep. Then Mr. Chirp would pick up right where it left off and started to "sing" again. It could really drive me crazy.

Dave and Jose said it wouldn't live that long. Let's hope so. I really like my sleep. Whatever it is, please move, or die. Thanks.

Rejected!

I received my first rejection letter from a hiring manager today. Wow. I thought they would just toss my resume, but no, he actually spent time to tell me that I was rejected. How considerate!

I almost felt the need to respond and thank him. Then again, it's like when you're pulled over and given a traffic citation, are you really going to thank the police officer? Probably not.

Last night I found out that one of my visa's balance was due today. I freaked out, because I almost never missed a payment. Once I was very close, so I called the bank to ask for their mercy. Of course it went fine, they gave me a one-time pass. However I thought I couldn't do it again now. So this morning before work I went to their downtown location, which I visited a few years ago when I applied and got my car loan. I remember it was hard to find, and the streets were littered, smelly, and busy. And I was lost too. It was not the most pleasant memory apart from getting the loan. 

The trip went much smoother this morning. I found a good parking spot. Although the streets still smelled, they weren't as dirty or busy as before. I walked in, paid off the balance, and came back to my car while the meter still running. I got to work fine too. Yay for me. 

It feels good that I can navigate downtown better these days. It also feels quite good to catch my mistake just in time and fix it without too big a hassle.

Celebration

Saturday night 11 of us went to Yai's on Vermont to celebrate yours truly finally getting his green card. The food was excellent, Jen was a little surprised because the restaurant didn't seem like a good Thai restaurant from the outside, but it was better than a lot of Thai restaurants we had been to. There were too many good dishes to mention, but the standout were the fermented bamboo shoots with tofu, wild boar with eggplant, and cashew tofu. I was happy we came here for my celebration. Thanks again to Dave + Jose for picking out the food for us. 

We decided to hang out some more since Yai's did not serve alcohol or could not BYOB. Jen and Jose and Dave discussed where to go for a while and finally decided on Hop Louie. The traffic going to Chinatown was horrible. There was a bar or club in the midway that everyone wanted to get in and the lanes were slow until we passed that intersection. The parking in Chinatown was a breeze, however. There was no line waiting outside either. We found a big table and sat down comfortably. Jen was my sugar mama tonight. Not only she bought my dinner, she also took care of the drinks for me and Sylvia. Thanks babe! The music was upbeat inside and I was seat dancing lots. Jen brought a Polaroid camera which was a hit with everyone. We took a lot of silly photos and laughed like kids throughout the night. It was a sweet, exciting, relaxing, and wonderful night for me.

Yesterday I forgot to blog. It did cross my mind, but I didn't get to it in the end. It was a very lazy and hot Sunday. I hung around the house, went out to get some groceries, bought a tuna sandwich at Subway (now $5.00 only, yay), took a nap, then it got super hot in the apartment, so I went to TJMaxx to chill down a bit. 

Today I submitted another resume. Finished uploading additional artwork that are "aside from current employment." Almost called my manager "stupid" but was quick enough not to finish the word. Yes, he caught it and has been teasing me about it all day long.

Dream

I just woke up from a weird dream and I must write it down as the memory is fading fast.

I am shopping with PK and Sheryl. PK has this red purse that is small and somewhat square shape with round corners. He has lots of random makeup items in it. I think it's silly. He pulls out a lipstick and starts to put it on his lips, just to be funny. We are in a farmer's market type of surrounding. I feel PK only carries this purse because he thinks it's hilarious. He has other stuff in there too, I don't remember. I begin to tell him stop being wasteful. I tell him I think he's spending money on random stuff that holds no actual value, and while they are very cheap, they add up. They are just little things he thinks are funny and he thinks will get a reaction out of us. He gets upset. I become angrier. Sheryl tries to mediate between us. I do not want to look at or talk to PK. We end up not buying anything at the market. We get back to our car in the parking structure. PK drives this vintage beetle type of car. He is mad and leaves the red purse on the top of the car. Sheryl asks if he's getting rid of the purse, he says nothing and hits the accelerator. The car zooms forward. Now somehow the red purse is in a blue envelop, I turn my head and see it falls on the ground. We drive another round in the parking lot so I see that envelop again.

Then I woke up. There's a lot of details I forgot. I don't know any Sheryl in real life, this friend in my dream is like a combination of Jen and Sylvia. I believe this dream is a collage of images I saw yesterday. PK's car was in a new VW commercial. The blue envelop was the one I used to hold some of my work's mailers and catalog. However I don't get the shiny red purse and PK wearing the lipstick part.

Yes I do think PK buys random stuff. Yes he sometimes does silly, seemingly pointless things to get a reaction. I do too.

Perhaps it's a dream more about me than about PK.

Oil Change

I left work early today to get oil change, new front brake pad, and tires rotated for the car. I had gotten lost going to this mechanic before, so I reminded myself to be careful. When exiting, I picked the south ramp and was happy that I took the right path. I kept driving and driving, not seeing the street where I was supposed to make a right turn. Then I knew I went the wrong way again! The road just didn't seem to end, or have a traffic light, or a crossing street anywhere. I finally got out of the road and made the necessary moves to return to the right direction. I was way off. How could I think I was on the right track when I was again wrong from the start?

The wait at the shop was long. There was already a line before I got there. Inside the customer lounge everyone looked anxious. Today LA was hot, stuffy, and very dry, and not having the AC on definitely did not make anyone feel any calmer. Finally my car was pulled in and got its service. Of course they didn't check the cling cling sound I asked them to look at, and I was charged additional $8.00 for "brake checking" - Times are indeed tough these days! In the end, they said my front tires should be replaced, no need to rotate, and the front brake pad still had 35% , so I could wait 'til next time. I felt they were rushing everyone. It was almost 4:30 and I supposed it was understandable. Still, I left feeling neglected because I waited almost an hour, and I didn't get what I came here for. Not exactly anyway.

The good thing is I didn't spend a fortune today. That day will come soon though.

Feeling better

I am feeling better today. I had a sore back this week and for some reason my stomach was also misbehaving. Perhaps the pain reliever was causing my tummy to go wild. Or was it the milk? I don't know. For days my body just was not working right. I stopped taking the over-the-counter pain reliever yesterday, as well as the milk, in the morning. I switched back to soymilk when I ate breakfast. Today not only was my stomach acting better, my back had also improved. Nothing beats feeling healthy and able to move freely.

What am I going to do with the milk?

I applied to 2 more places today. I tell myself to make progress when I have down time, even just small steps. It feels good to picture a greater future and see myself becoming stronger and more confident. Of course the job market these days is tough and there is no certainty for anyone who is looking for work. I'm lucky I am still employed and can afford to search jobs while sitting in my office comfortably. Good luck to every fellow job hunters out there.

Posh & Fancy

I went to a nice steak house called Arnie Morton's with TY last night. I entered from the street level and went down to its lower level where the restaurant was. It was a posh, upscale steak house with courteous and attractive wait staff and comfortable seating. Lots of wine bottle set-ups as main decoration, enhanced by warm welcoming lighting and uplifting fancy atmosphere, I could tell dining here was going to be pricey. Fortunately we had this coupon for "dinner for two" so at least the meal was at a discount. I saw other customers got to have their food shown / introduced by their waiter, we didn't get that service because most of our options was already preset by the coupon.

We started with 2 glasses of B.V. red wine. I didn't know what B.V. stood for, it was the first one on the wine list and TY just ordered that. The house onion bread smelled yummy and tasted good when it was warm. We then both had Morton's salad. The blue cheese dressing was nice, however I didn't really understand the anchovy on top, it just made the salad saltier. Overall it was a cold and satisfying salad. For the main course we both had filet, cooked medium, I added a crab cake for mine while TY had butter shrimps. I had to say the crab cake and the giant shrimps were excellent. They were even tastier than the steak! I don't know, I guess I just don't have that finer pallet.

We chatted about his trip and his work. And of course he congratulated me on my green card. We finished the meal with two different desserts, a hot chocolate cake with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side and a key lime pie. I actually ended up eating the chocolate cake alone because TY was too full after his cappuccino. It was a delicious, gooey cake. Yum! But I couldn't even touch the pie afterwards, so I had it boxed to go.

I came home and went back out to Target to get some big size envelops for mailing out resumes. I sent out my first application package at the post office, went home, left again to go to the gym. It was a full, productive, wonderful evening.

Working Throu This and That

Today I was busy finishing my application for this particular job I became very interested in. I was going to print, write and fill in the information, then I changed my mind. It's better to type on the computer so my info will look neat and clean. Luckily the PDF was created with text selection so I was able to complete it with ease. I will mail it out tomorrow. Let's hope for the best.

There was some work to do this morning. I got them done fast and soon went back to look at job postings. I didn't see more that I was interested in applying. Probably tomorrow.

I'm sleepy now. I don't know why.

Responses

This morning work got hectic for a while. There was a lot to do. Then I finished them. So back to job search I went. I emailed a couple of places around noon and received responses back right after. The hiring managers wanted to see my portfolio first. I had not thought of putting my work online, I should have. Although I own some domain names, I don't have them hosted anywhere. I was looking around for different options today, yes free options. I came across a Gmail feature that might work: Picasa Web Album.

I won't be able to upload PDFs on Picasa, as they are larger in size and there is a storage limit. So I will convert them into JPGs and organize them into different groups. It's not exactly the best way to create and host my portfolio online, but for now this option works.

And if the prospect companies like what they see and wish to see them in better detail, I can always bring the PDF files on a flash drive when I go in for an interview.

Short memories. Bad back.

After a long nap last night I was channel surfing and caught this movie that I had seen a while ago. It's called Tomcats. I knew it was a movie I saw with Eric, but for some reason it was like a new movie to me. I didn't remember the most of it and yes I knew it was not a good movie, still it was so weird watching it thinking "I saw this!" and "Why don't I remember the plot?" at the same time. It happened again now. Casino Royale is on and I watched it on DVD last year. I even remember thinking about burning a copy of it because I liked it a lot. And now, I don't know what's going on with the movie. Why is he chasing that guy? Why is he after the scary looking French guy? And why is the girl bad news? What is happening to my memories?

Yesterday my bad back returned. I didn't do anything to make it worse, it just came back and I have been suffering once again. It's not as terrible as before where I could not move around easily or sleep comfortably. It's between level 5 and 6 in my painfulness scale. I hope it calms back down somehow. I have been careful with everyday activities and of course gym exercises. I never expect it to recover 100% - It is kind of my skin flare-ups. I know I will always have it.

It sure isn't fun getting old.

A masquito bite? A 99 Ranch sighting!

Somehow I've gotten this itchy red bump on my lower back, above my right butt cheek, that has been bothering me for a couple of days now. I have applied "maximum strength" cortisone on the spot thinking it would help, not so much. I have also used this Chinese or Japanese ointment called MOPIKO-S on it before bedtime, still it does nothing. At first I thought it was acne, now I think it's a masquito bite. I can't sit or stand or move without thinking about it - SO VERY ITCHY + ANNOYING!

I saw one of my high school friends in 99 Ranch Market today. She didn't see me. I didn't want her to see me either. I always think it's awkward to say hi to people that I have not been in touch with for a long time. They have changed, so have I. Of course I feel I have become less attractive (OLD), I have accomplished little (No money), and I question if there is any real connection left (WHO is this person?) - So I stay far far away, hide behind any person or any object, or turn my head away casually or even if the situation requires, squat down suddenly, just so I can avoid that awkward "Hi!" Come to think of it, I actually have had more than one blast from the past at various 99 Ranch throughout the years. Strange.

Thank goodness Dave wasn't there today. Whenever he finds out I'm hiding from someone, he goes after that person and tries to "help" us reconnect. Nope, let things be please.

Unless I look better than that person, seem richer than that person, and I can tell he or she totally remembers me - I don't want to reconnect. Yeah I am bad like that.

In My Hand

Last night I received the actual green card in the mail. I was beyond ecstatic and overwhelmed. If the time wasn't 11 something, I would be calling people.

In my hand I saw a thin piece of plastic that I spent years waiting for and working towards to since I arrived in the States - the frustrations, the pain, the madness and endlessness of it all, this card represents all. This glorious day is finally here. Holding it close I know that I have overcome and completed that journey. It's been a humbling lesson.

However, if I must nitpick, my picture on the card is awful. Think a sad bald oops-I-just-got-caught criminal, that's how bad I look. I clearly remember I didn't feel well that day. I actually took a day off because I had stomach flu and I was dizzy all afternoon while waiting for my turn at the finger print / photo verification center. I wish I look nicer in this picture, this green card symbolizes such a big personal momentum for me and my not-quite-attractive photo on it dampens that joy just a little bit.

Still - I have it now. In my hand. La ~ la ~ la.

Starting

Work has been slow lately. I was able to finish saving most of my work in PDF and then burning them onto 2 DVD-Rs yesterday. Today I am starting to look at jobs online more seriously. I even had a chance to send out my cover letter and resume to 2 different companies. Of course I feel weird and guilty doing this at work. I try to stop that train of thought. I tell myself since I do not have much to do this week, I might as well work on my next step, plan ahead my exit strategy, daydream about my future, etc. I will not over-do it, only apply for 2 - 3 jobs a day if I have time.

Little progress

I received the Welcome New Permanent Resident notice yesterday. Reading that notice sure felt awesome. Before I left work yesterday I also burned the first disc containing lots of my work. I will probably make another disc before the weekend. It's a little progress everyday.

Today I posted my resume on Monster.com too. I am always working on something daily, moving forward in small steps - It feels good knowing every step I take brings me closer to leaving and landing a better future. I'm so very happy.

S. O. M.

As usual I went to the gym after work today. There was just one spot open for elliptical machines and I went for it. Soon there were a few more became open then filled by others. 3 minutes into the run all of sudden I smelled something vaguely familiar. I turned to my right and screamed "Oh NO!" in my head. There he stood, the one with the unique aura, I wish I came in late and had picked one of the machines towards the back.

Yes, Stinky Old Man, S.O.M. as I refer him, was standing proud behind me and the guy to my right. I have encountered this particular S.O.M. many times since I joined this gym. Although he possesses a very fit body for his 50+ age, his sweaty musk combined with a strangely sour skunk-like odor makes exercising next to him a truly miserable and terrifying experience. Once I gave up the machine I waited for because he was sweating and sharing his scent all over his area, even 3-4 machines away! Thick, sour, sweaty funk. Yuck!

Today the gym was busy and many machines were out of order. He stood there and waited while I tried hard to breath and kept going. I wished someone else left and he went towards the back. No, S.O.M. stayed on until I was done. How could he not use some type of deodorant? Was I the only one with a nose? I just don't get it.