Complainer

I spent some time today seriously thinking about my new job and its prospects. It's been 4 weeks and this is the beginning of my 5th week. I've gone back and forth considering if I want to stay or leave. I complain about this job a lot and it is making me think perhaps it's not the right choice after all. Of course, there is stuff to like. I like my computer. I like ...

I can't name much else. There is a couple of people I like there, and I can genuinely smile when I see them. As far as the work that I've done, mostly it has been OK.

Now the bad parts... I don't like most of the senior executives there. I feel they are either cold or have way too much a showman personality. So I get either immense distance or impracticality from the supervisors, not appealing. Their main objectives feel shallow at times and I don't have a lot of confidence in the overall plan. I especially don't like the parking situation. I still don't know when I will get reimbursed for it. Also I am under a lot of eyes when I'm in the office and it's stressful to sit there and work. Of course I feel I have a lot to prove, however, not a lot of opportunities to gain momentum so far. I can't help but feeling cynical towards the job and I wish I could be less negative.

I don't know if people can be very happy about their jobs. I'm just not very satisfied. Deep down I have a feeling this is the right place for me to be, but why do I feel so misplaced and unhappy? I am going to stay I think, just to torture myself. I need more time to decide if it's wise to let go.