Extra

I went to an agency for casting extras this morning. Dave first mentioned it to me last week and I brushed it off jokingly. Then I talked with PK over the weekend and got more information from someone who had actually done it before. Last night at Dave's I said to him if I still felt like trying it tomorrow I would do it. I chatted with PK again this morning, who was supportive and encouraging. So was Dave, who volunteered to go with me. So, I printed out their forms and filled them out. Off I went.

Honestly, the place was a mad house. It was packed to the max. Right away I felt very uncomfortable. I walked out, but Dave had left to park the car somewhere else. I went back in, thinking I needed to stick to the plan. A few seconds later I left again. I just felt suffocated. I forced myself back into the building once more. And out again. I did that about 7 times, back and forth. No matter how many times I rejoined the crowd, it just didn't feel good or right. Finally Dave showed up. I rushed to his side and told him it was just too much. Then we walked back into the agency again. It was hard to see where the lines started. He asked one of the girls and she pointed to this other side of the room. Dave looked at me. I gave him a look, and said "No, I don't want to do this."

Besides feeling suffocated I also became very self-conscious. Standing next to those who also came here for a chance to be in films and television shows somehow made me extremely nervous. Of course everyone thought, "Getting paid as an extra is better than getting none at all, right? In this economy, every little bit helps. And hey, you get to be in movies!" Unfortunately I didn't feel like I fit in, and that anxiety was immense and intense. There was this sense of desperation and judging I experienced, I couldn't shake it even though I tried my hardest. Perhaps if I had gone in early and was with a friend who also wanted to do this would help. I don't know.

Someone who parked at our first spot got a ticket when we left. That was kind of sad. Who wants to drive around to find parking on a very busy street, wait at least an hour and a half to be photographed, pay $25 cash to register your profile, AND get cited for some parking violation? I felt bad for the guy. Dave and I just left and went shopping at Costco. A much better time spent, in my opinion.

Still, that was some experience.