I went to West Hollywood last night with a friend. It had a been a while. Rage was very popular last night. We waited outside for a bit before getting in. The cover was $12 which I thought was expensive. I liked the downstairs main room better. The DJ played mostly radio-friendly recognizable songs instead of some snotty techno music. We danced for over an hour and left to get some water. Yes the water inside cost $6.00 a bottle, no thanks. I got home around 2:40 and was exhausted. Still, I got into the shower, cleaned up, and drank more water - then went to bed and didn't get up 'til 11:30 this morning.
I haven't gone out at all today. I was going to walk to a local Subway but I changed my mind. I still had the leftover from last night. The Mexican restaurant that we went to gave me a lot of food. It was too salty for one meal so I saved the rest. I finished that with some oatmeal and that was my lunch. Maybe Subway for tonight.
31 May 2008
29 May 2008
Lost!
I just finished watching the Lost finale and oh dear it bitch-slapped me hard and good! I did not expect the last shot. In fact, I didn't know what to expect and the show kept surprising me every other 10 minutes. I know it is a difficult show to watch - but when it's good, it's INSANELY GOOD! That was SO worth it.
The weekend is here again. I don't have much planned as usual. I hope the weather stays cool, so I can nap :)
The weekend is here again. I don't have much planned as usual. I hope the weather stays cool, so I can nap :)
28 May 2008
Bird poop
I had been driving with a big bird poop on my car window for days. It bothered me and yet I continued to try to ignore it. Then yesterday I had to ask our tech to check on my misbehaved car alarm at work, and I just pictured him walking towards my car and thinking to himself, "What a huge drop of poopy nastiness!? Gross!"
It's true. I had not washed my car in over a month, and after this last week of crazy weather, my car definitely wasn't looking its best. With the added bonus blessing from the neighborhood birds, it was as awful looking as it could get. I kept thinking about it on the way to work this morning, and I honestly felt people driving around me were looking at it too, "Eww! Look at that big scary pile of dry poop!"
Fine! I give up! I drove past this car wash that I had not been to before and pulled into their lot. I knew I was going to be late for work, but I just couldn't stand thinking about how nasty my car looked like another minute more. The car wash was running a Wednesday Special: $12.99 - This was by far the most expensive "special pricing" I had seen. Oh well I already came here. Then I was surprised again that they also charged sales tax on top of that. Oh well again. In the end, they did a pretty good job. I was satisfied. Knowing my car was sparkling clean and poop-less actually brought me a sense of peace, clarity, and focus.... for a day or two anyway.
It's true. I had not washed my car in over a month, and after this last week of crazy weather, my car definitely wasn't looking its best. With the added bonus blessing from the neighborhood birds, it was as awful looking as it could get. I kept thinking about it on the way to work this morning, and I honestly felt people driving around me were looking at it too, "Eww! Look at that big scary pile of dry poop!"
Fine! I give up! I drove past this car wash that I had not been to before and pulled into their lot. I knew I was going to be late for work, but I just couldn't stand thinking about how nasty my car looked like another minute more. The car wash was running a Wednesday Special: $12.99 - This was by far the most expensive "special pricing" I had seen. Oh well I already came here. Then I was surprised again that they also charged sales tax on top of that. Oh well again. In the end, they did a pretty good job. I was satisfied. Knowing my car was sparkling clean and poop-less actually brought me a sense of peace, clarity, and focus.... for a day or two anyway.
27 May 2008
BBQ-ed out
Yesterday Dave had a cookout at his place. He cleaned up his yard and it was almost unrecognizable! There was a triangular canopy Jose and he got from Ikea that was lined with X'mas lighting for that customized effect. The tree cuttings, scraps, piles of leftover from whatever project Dave was working on all disappeared. It was too neat to believe! Sometimes all it takes is a party to make over your place.
Dave made lots of vegetarian BBQ items. From grilled asparagus, zucchini, orange bell peppers, to fancy marinated mushroom burgers (paired with grilled onions and American cheese), it was pure meatless heaven with fun, festive grill marks.
Tonight when I came home from the gym I had two dinner choices. I picked the BBQ plate my neighbor got me on Sunday. I could have gone with Dave's vegetarian extravaganza persoalized just for me, but then I would have to toss the plate with steak from Sunday. So I heated it up and finished the whole thing. Dave's would have to wait. I think I might be BBQ-ed out for now.
CH emailed me today to say hi. She mentioned a movie The Fall that I saw a couple of weeks ago with Dave and Jose. I really liked the film, and I was going to, then somehow forgot to write about it. The movie started out like a Calvin Klein commercial: beautiful people moving in slow motion, carefully orchestrated frames in wide and then close shots, in simple black and white, which all hinted that this movie was going to be a stylish feast for the eyes. The story began slowly, and at times almost awkwardly. The conversations between the girl and the stuntman felt improvised in the beginning as I felt these two people really just began to know each other. Then, the more the stunt man's story developed, the darker the film turned. It went from lightearted to calm, then to troubled. Still, each scene inside the story he told to the girl was visually stunning and generous, impressive in details. The costumes, the colors, the set-ups, the actions, they looked effortless but obviously were done painstakingly and nothing was overlooked as far as the style was concerned. Fortunately for the audience, the story was simple and solid enough that its dramatic, visual poetry didn't overshadow the bones of the film. I really enjoyed watching, and looking at The Fall. Don't miss it if you have a chance to see it.
Dave made lots of vegetarian BBQ items. From grilled asparagus, zucchini, orange bell peppers, to fancy marinated mushroom burgers (paired with grilled onions and American cheese), it was pure meatless heaven with fun, festive grill marks.
Tonight when I came home from the gym I had two dinner choices. I picked the BBQ plate my neighbor got me on Sunday. I could have gone with Dave's vegetarian extravaganza persoalized just for me, but then I would have to toss the plate with steak from Sunday. So I heated it up and finished the whole thing. Dave's would have to wait. I think I might be BBQ-ed out for now.
CH emailed me today to say hi. She mentioned a movie The Fall that I saw a couple of weeks ago with Dave and Jose. I really liked the film, and I was going to, then somehow forgot to write about it. The movie started out like a Calvin Klein commercial: beautiful people moving in slow motion, carefully orchestrated frames in wide and then close shots, in simple black and white, which all hinted that this movie was going to be a stylish feast for the eyes. The story began slowly, and at times almost awkwardly. The conversations between the girl and the stuntman felt improvised in the beginning as I felt these two people really just began to know each other. Then, the more the stunt man's story developed, the darker the film turned. It went from lightearted to calm, then to troubled. Still, each scene inside the story he told to the girl was visually stunning and generous, impressive in details. The costumes, the colors, the set-ups, the actions, they looked effortless but obviously were done painstakingly and nothing was overlooked as far as the style was concerned. Fortunately for the audience, the story was simple and solid enough that its dramatic, visual poetry didn't overshadow the bones of the film. I really enjoyed watching, and looking at The Fall. Don't miss it if you have a chance to see it.
26 May 2008
Last day of long weekend
Dave is having a cook out today at his place. The weather is nice and cool. Hopefully it won't start to rain or get too chilly. I had Thai food for lunch today and it was again a lot of food. This has been a pretty laid-back easygoing long weekend. I'm sad it's almost over. I'm looking forward to the July 4th weekend. Sigh. I feel like having a nap now.
25 May 2008
Big dinner in Chinatown
Last night got very cold. My chest was feeling pressure breathing and it was hard to sleep through the night comfortably. This morning I stayed in bed a bit longer and finally woke up before 11. I went to the gym and came back. Had lunch and watched a lot of random tv shows. Around 5:40 TY called to see if I wanted to hang out tonight.
My neighbor gave me some BBQ her husband just made which was going to be my dinner. Then I thought, I should go out because it would be nice to see TY and not spend the entire day watching tv. I got to his place before 7 and we decided to go to Phoenix Inn in Chinatown. We ordered 1/4 portion of their signature chicken, a fish cake dish baked with 3-treasure (eggplant, green bell pepper, and bitter mellon) in black bean sauce, duck feet with sea cucumber and vegetable, and instead of regular rice, we had porridge with fish fillet and a side order of one Chinese donut. The food was Cantonese style, so it was pretty balanced in flavor, not too greasy, and came to our table quickly. Finally we finished our dinner with a bowl of thick gooey black sesame soup. I knew I ate too much. But it was so good.
Now I'm back and watching mindless TV. Very happy we have tomorrow off too. Yay.
My neighbor gave me some BBQ her husband just made which was going to be my dinner. Then I thought, I should go out because it would be nice to see TY and not spend the entire day watching tv. I got to his place before 7 and we decided to go to Phoenix Inn in Chinatown. We ordered 1/4 portion of their signature chicken, a fish cake dish baked with 3-treasure (eggplant, green bell pepper, and bitter mellon) in black bean sauce, duck feet with sea cucumber and vegetable, and instead of regular rice, we had porridge with fish fillet and a side order of one Chinese donut. The food was Cantonese style, so it was pretty balanced in flavor, not too greasy, and came to our table quickly. Finally we finished our dinner with a bowl of thick gooey black sesame soup. I knew I ate too much. But it was so good.
Now I'm back and watching mindless TV. Very happy we have tomorrow off too. Yay.
24 May 2008
Good, Lazy, Perfect, Saturday
I woke up right before 9 this morning. I decided to go to the mall to catch Indiana Jones 4 before the big crowds. There was a 10:00 showing so off I went. The parking lot was half full, but the theater was packed. Fortunately there wasn't a line or crazy kids running around. I also got myself a great seat. So it was a pretty good start.
The movie was just OK. I wish there weren't as much special effects towards the end of the film. I also didn't like how the villain was killed. That was not explained very well. The skull also seemed to have inconsistent magnetic power throughout the film. There were just a lot of small unjustified, or not well-explained moments in the film that made it less than satisfactory to me. Was it bad? No. It just wasn't great.
I came home and had Subway for lunch. I then cleaned the bathroom and vacuumed the apartment. After a little of TV I went to take a long nap. I woke up and went out to get some banh mi for dinner. Then that was it. Today is one of those good and lazy days that feels so perfect.
The movie was just OK. I wish there weren't as much special effects towards the end of the film. I also didn't like how the villain was killed. That was not explained very well. The skull also seemed to have inconsistent magnetic power throughout the film. There were just a lot of small unjustified, or not well-explained moments in the film that made it less than satisfactory to me. Was it bad? No. It just wasn't great.
I came home and had Subway for lunch. I then cleaned the bathroom and vacuumed the apartment. After a little of TV I went to take a long nap. I woke up and went out to get some banh mi for dinner. Then that was it. Today is one of those good and lazy days that feels so perfect.
23 May 2008
Long weekend
This is the first long weekend of the year. We got to leave work early today. I went to the gym first then came home. After I finished the Starrbooty DVD I took a 2-hour nap. The weather was gloomy and chilly. It felt weird after last scorchingly hot weekend.
The movie isn't very good. It has some funny dialog, but the rest is poorly executed. The dubbing really bothered me. I didn't like the action scenes either - very choppy and redundant. Certain close-up shots were lighted differently, unnaturally bright and soft. Of course I didn't expect it to be great, but this was a disappointment nevertheless.
I don't have much planned this weekend. I hope I will be sleeping a lot. This weather is perfect for that.
The movie isn't very good. It has some funny dialog, but the rest is poorly executed. The dubbing really bothered me. I didn't like the action scenes either - very choppy and redundant. Certain close-up shots were lighted differently, unnaturally bright and soft. Of course I didn't expect it to be great, but this was a disappointment nevertheless.
I don't have much planned this weekend. I hope I will be sleeping a lot. This weather is perfect for that.
22 May 2008
Feeling good
A couple of small good things happened. I threw my iPod shuffle with all my laundry last night. No, that's not the good news. It went into the washer as well as the dryer. I know. When I found out what I did, I was horrified. We couldn't turn it on at first and although the headset (yes they went through the complete cycle too) worked, the iPod stayed "dead." Now the good news: It did not die! I came home and connected it to the charger. Its battery was dead and when I saw the charging LED blinking I thought there was half a chance it would come back to life. AND IT DID! What a wonderful news!
Another good news was also very minor. I mistakenly charged my card last weekend. The same amount was deducted twice from my account. I called the company and they said one of the charges would be dropped. It didn't for 3 days and I was worried. Finally it went away today! Happy me!
Today's weather is quite dramatic. It started out cold and cloudy. In the mid morning it became very sunny. Then suddenly there was huge, pouring rain. It lasted for about an hour. The sky went from gloomy to blue to gloomy again. After the afternoon rain stopped, the sun came back, but get this, when I was driving home the rain returned! It was so wild - I loved it.
Another good news was also very minor. I mistakenly charged my card last weekend. The same amount was deducted twice from my account. I called the company and they said one of the charges would be dropped. It didn't for 3 days and I was worried. Finally it went away today! Happy me!
Today's weather is quite dramatic. It started out cold and cloudy. In the mid morning it became very sunny. Then suddenly there was huge, pouring rain. It lasted for about an hour. The sky went from gloomy to blue to gloomy again. After the afternoon rain stopped, the sun came back, but get this, when I was driving home the rain returned! It was so wild - I loved it.
21 May 2008
The process
I have been thinking about this for a few days now. Because I still haven't heard any good response regarding my job search, I start to wonder if "graphic designer" is the right path for me. Sure I have the right experience and the right skills, but I don't know if I truly love what I do. I suppose I can take a risk and tackle something else, but what? And what if the pay is even worse? I sometimes wish I have that certain passion to do something or be someone. Some people have it and always seem so focused and driven. Where is mine?
These days I'm looking at the job postings, responding, and getting nowhere. Is this all a big sign to tell me to change the direction of where I am heading? Am I to take a break? Or is it truly just the economy? It feels like I'm just getting impatient again and trying to answer the unanswerable.
Life is a series of waits. You set a goal. You make an effort. Then you wait for the result. Sometimes you think you wanted something, but when you get it, you realize it actually isn't right for you. So you take a deep breath. Then repeat the process. I wonder where I am in this process now.
These days I'm looking at the job postings, responding, and getting nowhere. Is this all a big sign to tell me to change the direction of where I am heading? Am I to take a break? Or is it truly just the economy? It feels like I'm just getting impatient again and trying to answer the unanswerable.
Life is a series of waits. You set a goal. You make an effort. Then you wait for the result. Sometimes you think you wanted something, but when you get it, you realize it actually isn't right for you. So you take a deep breath. Then repeat the process. I wonder where I am in this process now.
20 May 2008
Cooler today
The temperature got cooler today. If we already reached 100° in the last two days I really can't imagine what this summer is going to be like. Do I really need to buy a new AC this year?
This morning Jen told me that she and Steve had another fight. I think all couples argue and get frustrated from time to time. Often one doesn't hear the other, or simply misinterprets the message. One grows more defensive while the other becomes more frustrated. No one is intentionally trying to hurt the other person, but in the process of sorting out the issues, both end up getting hurt. Communication is the key, but when two people are clearly on two different pages, how can they meet each other in that agreeable range where both come out feeling satisfied?
I was watching the morning news today and the news anchors were joking about how difficult and miserable it is to be single. Really? Is that so?
Unless you're with the right person, or someone who gets where you're coming from, or whom at least tries to understand you and communicates with you fairly and rationally, why be in a relationship and fight about the same issues over and over again? I don't think there's a perfect formula to a perfect relationship. Everybody is flawed, and we all have egos and make mistakes. It's important to see the big picture, what's more important and what's the better outcome for the other person? If both can do the same, then yes, being in a relationship makes sense.
Speak your mind and at the same time, listen to him / her, there's a point somewhere to all this arguing and frustration. If you only speak and never listen, then there's no respect. If you only listen and never speak, then that unresolved frustration will slowly grow into a deadly monster and finally one day jumps out during one of your future arguments and bites each other's head off. Fun times! NOT!
Relationships - You better make it work for both of you. Or don't bother.
This morning Jen told me that she and Steve had another fight. I think all couples argue and get frustrated from time to time. Often one doesn't hear the other, or simply misinterprets the message. One grows more defensive while the other becomes more frustrated. No one is intentionally trying to hurt the other person, but in the process of sorting out the issues, both end up getting hurt. Communication is the key, but when two people are clearly on two different pages, how can they meet each other in that agreeable range where both come out feeling satisfied?
I was watching the morning news today and the news anchors were joking about how difficult and miserable it is to be single. Really? Is that so?
Unless you're with the right person, or someone who gets where you're coming from, or whom at least tries to understand you and communicates with you fairly and rationally, why be in a relationship and fight about the same issues over and over again? I don't think there's a perfect formula to a perfect relationship. Everybody is flawed, and we all have egos and make mistakes. It's important to see the big picture, what's more important and what's the better outcome for the other person? If both can do the same, then yes, being in a relationship makes sense.
Speak your mind and at the same time, listen to him / her, there's a point somewhere to all this arguing and frustration. If you only speak and never listen, then there's no respect. If you only listen and never speak, then that unresolved frustration will slowly grow into a deadly monster and finally one day jumps out during one of your future arguments and bites each other's head off. Fun times! NOT!
Relationships - You better make it work for both of you. Or don't bother.
19 May 2008
Sleepless night
Last night I had very little sleep. I fell asleep fast, but woke up fast too. For some reason my head was thinking about the DH's season finale. Especially the scene where the story jumped forward 5 years and Susan was with a new husband / boyfriend, it was bugging my mind. I know, I sound crazy. I tossed and turned for a while, then I got up to turn off the fan. Then my bedroom got hot and stuffy, so I got up again to turn the fan back on. I got out of bed again to have some water. It was like in and out of sleep the entire night. When I finally felt like I was truly sleepy, of course it was time to get ready for work :(
18 May 2008
Still hot
It's still awfully hot today. However, it's more tolerable than yesterday, so I stay home mostly this afternoon. I got some groceries and watched Indiana Jones triple features on Sci Fi channel. It's another lazy day for me.
Last night's dinner with Jane John Jen Steve and Wayne went well. Everyone had a delicious time. Too bad I forgot to bring the present Dave and Jose bought for Jen :( Jane John Wayne and I stayed chatting in the parking lot after Jen and Steve left. Jane and John were both joking and complaining about each other. We had lots of laughs. It was a good Saturday night.
Eric passed his PhD defense so now he's officially a doctor. It seems like a lot of my friends are making big changes and taking big steps forward. It kind of gives me hope.
Last night's dinner with Jane John Jen Steve and Wayne went well. Everyone had a delicious time. Too bad I forgot to bring the present Dave and Jose bought for Jen :( Jane John Wayne and I stayed chatting in the parking lot after Jen and Steve left. Jane and John were both joking and complaining about each other. We had lots of laughs. It was a good Saturday night.
Eric passed his PhD defense so now he's officially a doctor. It seems like a lot of my friends are making big changes and taking big steps forward. It kind of gives me hope.
17 May 2008
HOT HOT HOT
I woke up this morning thinking the temperature was tolerable. I popped in The Host I got from Netflix and started watching. About half way through the movie, I thought it was not as mediocre as PK said. I might even lend it to John and Jane. My neighbor bought a portable AC and came to ask me to help her assemble it in her bedroom. I paused the movie and went over to her apartment. It looked like an easy job and we managed to get it installed successfully. She has always been very nice to me, so it is nice to help her today.
When I came back and resumed the movie, I noticed the apartment had become noticeably warmer. By the time I finished the DVD, I was sweating and feeling miserable. The film, unfortunately, wasn't that good the second half, so I wouldn't be recommending it to John or Jane. It tried to go all out and carry more than it could. If it stayed a family + monster movie, without all the conspiracy + sudden new characters introduced in the last 1/3 of the film + stop-and-go with the main leads towards the end + unnecessary and excessive slow-motion action shots, I would like it a lot more. I also didn't understand why the monster didn't eat, or finally decided to eat some of the victims later in the film. No it's not very good. Was it all just marketing? Sign. I ended up returning it to Netflix.
The summer is here indeed. After lunch I tried to take a nap because I was so tired from the heat. Then when I woke up an hour later I felt even more sick. I drank a lot of water and finally couldn't take it anymore and drove myself to Target. How nice to have a working AC!
When I came back and resumed the movie, I noticed the apartment had become noticeably warmer. By the time I finished the DVD, I was sweating and feeling miserable. The film, unfortunately, wasn't that good the second half, so I wouldn't be recommending it to John or Jane. It tried to go all out and carry more than it could. If it stayed a family + monster movie, without all the conspiracy + sudden new characters introduced in the last 1/3 of the film + stop-and-go with the main leads towards the end + unnecessary and excessive slow-motion action shots, I would like it a lot more. I also didn't understand why the monster didn't eat, or finally decided to eat some of the victims later in the film. No it's not very good. Was it all just marketing? Sign. I ended up returning it to Netflix.
The summer is here indeed. After lunch I tried to take a nap because I was so tired from the heat. Then when I woke up an hour later I felt even more sick. I drank a lot of water and finally couldn't take it anymore and drove myself to Target. How nice to have a working AC!
16 May 2008
Hot weekend
The local news this morning said this weekend will be a hot one. Last night it definitely felt like the summer had arrived. Tomorrow I might escape to some mall or movie theater. My apartment gets very stuffy and nasty whenever the heatwave hits.
I have no good news regarding my job search. I wonder how long it's going to take. No matter what, I will keep pushing and hope for the best.
I have no good news regarding my job search. I wonder how long it's going to take. No matter what, I will keep pushing and hope for the best.
15 May 2008
Sichuan earthquake
The situation in Sichuan, China is getting worse by the minute. This article from NY Times is particularly heartbreaking. I cannot imagine the pain, hurt, and anger they are experiencing. Their loss is immeasurable. Please take a moment of silence for the earthquake's victims and their families.
14 May 2008
Keyboard
I won! I have been visiting eBay to look for a used Mac keyboard since last week. I know I could've just bought a regular PC USB keyboard, but after the last one I got, a "Microsoft 4000" that died only after one year, I thought I should stop cheating and go back to Apple. My iMac is like the 1st or 2nd generation model anyway, so it wouldn't make sense to buy a new, "wireless," or "bluetooth," keyboard. I just need something basic and in working condition. Where else can I find one like that? Yes I thought about Craiglist, but I felt more comfortable buying it off eBay.
In the end I paid $30.56 (including shipping) for a used black color + transparent keyboard. It was in an OK shape as its back was scratched. After I won the bid and finished the payment, I saw one of those related ads showed up in the log out page - I saw the same keyboard could go as low as $28 total and in a brand spanking new condition too! Oh well - Too late!
In the end I paid $30.56 (including shipping) for a used black color + transparent keyboard. It was in an OK shape as its back was scratched. After I won the bid and finished the payment, I saw one of those related ads showed up in the log out page - I saw the same keyboard could go as low as $28 total and in a brand spanking new condition too! Oh well - Too late!
13 May 2008
Someone's bitch
Work today got intense very quickly. My boss emailed me on this particular item in our catalog and said, "XYZ picture is bad. Look on the internet and learn."
What?! LEARN?! What the hell?
Why did he start my day like this? The picture seemed fine to me. If he wanted it in certain way, why didn't he just tell me exactly how he would like it photographed? I was pissed. My manager didn't have a good solution. There was nothing like it on the internet either. Soon that item got put away with the catalog because my boss started to fire email after email my way. I was working on finishing the ad my manager wanted and at the same time, fending off demands from my boss.
He was definitely on to me this morning. I didn't reply to one of the emails he sent, so he emailed me again and asked me for an answer right then. What the F? My boss was acting like a kid. I felt my blood rushing fast and furious. I wrote him back and set him straight. I told him I had to prioritize and I was sorry that one of the requests he sent me was not on the top of my list, because I was focused on finishing up the ad my manager asked me to make. I would get to his thing as soon as I was done with the ad. Or did he want me to stop working on the ad? I would if he asked me to.
He wrote back quickly and told me to work on his stuff when I had the time. GOOD!
I was kept busy all day and I didn't even get a chance to send out any resumes or applications, ha! Sigh. I totally understand I'm someone's bitch. It's just that his attitude can be so brash and harsh.
Then tonight I had the pleasure to watch an episode of Hell's Kitchen. No, my boss is nowhere like Chef Ramsey. Thank goodness!
I did have this thought running in my head over and over, "I want a new job - NOW!"
What?! LEARN?! What the hell?
Why did he start my day like this? The picture seemed fine to me. If he wanted it in certain way, why didn't he just tell me exactly how he would like it photographed? I was pissed. My manager didn't have a good solution. There was nothing like it on the internet either. Soon that item got put away with the catalog because my boss started to fire email after email my way. I was working on finishing the ad my manager wanted and at the same time, fending off demands from my boss.
He was definitely on to me this morning. I didn't reply to one of the emails he sent, so he emailed me again and asked me for an answer right then. What the F? My boss was acting like a kid. I felt my blood rushing fast and furious. I wrote him back and set him straight. I told him I had to prioritize and I was sorry that one of the requests he sent me was not on the top of my list, because I was focused on finishing up the ad my manager asked me to make. I would get to his thing as soon as I was done with the ad. Or did he want me to stop working on the ad? I would if he asked me to.
He wrote back quickly and told me to work on his stuff when I had the time. GOOD!
I was kept busy all day and I didn't even get a chance to send out any resumes or applications, ha! Sigh. I totally understand I'm someone's bitch. It's just that his attitude can be so brash and harsh.
Then tonight I had the pleasure to watch an episode of Hell's Kitchen. No, my boss is nowhere like Chef Ramsey. Thank goodness!
I did have this thought running in my head over and over, "I want a new job - NOW!"
12 May 2008
Down and up
I didn't get a good night of sleep last night, and I woke up feeling irritable. When I got to work there were some stuff to do, so I didn't have time to think about the talk I had with mom. However, after I finished some work and sent my resume out, the annoying exchange I had with mom re-emerged in my head. I tried hard to figure out why it still bothered me. Of course, the more I thought about it the more I felt irritated and down.
After lunch Jen and I began to chat on Google. She agreed with me that my mom was definitely feeling guilty and moreover, she was projecting without being aware of it. It was understandable and she didn't mean any harm. Jen reminded me again that she's my mother, and even if she had her faults, her mistakes usually came from good intentions. Hearing Jen's perspective through a tiny chat window was surprisingly effective. I felt better after we chatted. Lastly Jen told me I must forgive her. I said I told my mom that already. She said saying it and doing it are two different things. Sigh - I don't know - I thought I did? Maybe I didn't. I know I still hang on to all the troubled memories to keep myself from getting hurt again. I know, I have issues.
After the gym I went to a local Asian market that I had not been to in a while. I got frozen soybeans and carton soymilk all in one place. I was happy. So it really doesn't take a lot to make me happy. A good friend. Knowing that someone gets me. Finding and getting exactly what I want on sale. There, the bad mood is gone.
After lunch Jen and I began to chat on Google. She agreed with me that my mom was definitely feeling guilty and moreover, she was projecting without being aware of it. It was understandable and she didn't mean any harm. Jen reminded me again that she's my mother, and even if she had her faults, her mistakes usually came from good intentions. Hearing Jen's perspective through a tiny chat window was surprisingly effective. I felt better after we chatted. Lastly Jen told me I must forgive her. I said I told my mom that already. She said saying it and doing it are two different things. Sigh - I don't know - I thought I did? Maybe I didn't. I know I still hang on to all the troubled memories to keep myself from getting hurt again. I know, I have issues.
After the gym I went to a local Asian market that I had not been to in a while. I got frozen soybeans and carton soymilk all in one place. I was happy. So it really doesn't take a lot to make me happy. A good friend. Knowing that someone gets me. Finding and getting exactly what I want on sale. There, the bad mood is gone.
11 May 2008
Talk
Today's Mother's Day. Like most people's moms, mine is a lot of work. We had a short talk on Skype this afternoon and it got very frustrating. It sounded like she was feeling guilty again and I just didn't want to be that person to say "I turned out fine" one more time. And I did end up saying it, which made the talk even more redundant and frustrating.
Everyone is imperfect. I know and accept that. One of the issues today was that she felt bad that I seemed fine being alone. I think it's great to share life with someone special. If it happens, that's great. If it doesn't, there's nothing wrong doing things myself. Another issue was that she felt I refused her help. That part is 100% true. While she's doing OK, I doubt she's in the position to give help. Sigh. I did what I could to better myself. I know I have issues, but who doesn't? I just want my relationship with her to be stable and without big expectations.
I prefer to believe that most mothers have certain issues. Everyone's imperfect, that includes mothers.
Everyone is imperfect. I know and accept that. One of the issues today was that she felt bad that I seemed fine being alone. I think it's great to share life with someone special. If it happens, that's great. If it doesn't, there's nothing wrong doing things myself. Another issue was that she felt I refused her help. That part is 100% true. While she's doing OK, I doubt she's in the position to give help. Sigh. I did what I could to better myself. I know I have issues, but who doesn't? I just want my relationship with her to be stable and without big expectations.
I prefer to believe that most mothers have certain issues. Everyone's imperfect, that includes mothers.
10 May 2008
Productive Saturday
I woke up this morning and decided to get the traffic school out of the way. I used GoToTrafficSchool which was referred to me by Cameron. I chose their cheapest online package and there I went. Cameron's print-out answers were 60% helpful. The site didn't ask the exact same questions each time. And sometimes the questions or the answers were either recomposed or rearranged. If I couldn't find the answers from Cameron's cheat sheets I must hit the "previous" button to re-read the chapter to find the right answers. Often when I came back to answer the questions, they were not the same anymore. So I would either have to re-read again, or do a quick search on Google to get the answers. Still, it was better than sitting in a classroom with 50 strangers for 6 - 7 hours.
I went out to have lunch with TY today. He decided we should eat at Mariposa because he said Fred Segal would be too busy to get in today. There were a lot of people out shopping because of Mother's Day. We had to wait 30 min to get into the restaurant. He ordered salmon salad and I had crabcake caesar salad. My salad came out like an art piece. Everything was inside a grilled parmesan cheese made bowl. It was yummy. We walked around Neiman Marcus and checked out Saks Fifth too. TY said we should go to Bloomingdale's since he knew they had a bigger sale. When we got to Century City Mall, we couldn't find any parking. The shopping crowd was definitely out in full force today. We decided to get some ice cream instead. TY took me to this casual, friendly Italian restaurant called Al Gelato on Robertson and we got ourselves one scoop of rainbow, one scoop of cappuccino gelato and a slice of their tiramisu. Everything's homemade there. I liked what we ordered, but I thought Dave's tiramisu tasted better. They had this red velvet cake that looked amazing. On display they also had a lemon coconut cake - Dave's favorite. Maybe he and Jose can check this place out some time. After this quick dessert we went to Beverly Center to continue our nonspending window shopping.
When I came back from the mall I was quite tired. I finally finished the exams and went out to have dinner with Dave and Jose. They also had a big day shopping, eating and napping. I didn't get to nap today, but I was productive. Tomorrow I am going to relax and maybe see a movie.
I went out to have lunch with TY today. He decided we should eat at Mariposa because he said Fred Segal would be too busy to get in today. There were a lot of people out shopping because of Mother's Day. We had to wait 30 min to get into the restaurant. He ordered salmon salad and I had crabcake caesar salad. My salad came out like an art piece. Everything was inside a grilled parmesan cheese made bowl. It was yummy. We walked around Neiman Marcus and checked out Saks Fifth too. TY said we should go to Bloomingdale's since he knew they had a bigger sale. When we got to Century City Mall, we couldn't find any parking. The shopping crowd was definitely out in full force today. We decided to get some ice cream instead. TY took me to this casual, friendly Italian restaurant called Al Gelato on Robertson and we got ourselves one scoop of rainbow, one scoop of cappuccino gelato and a slice of their tiramisu. Everything's homemade there. I liked what we ordered, but I thought Dave's tiramisu tasted better. They had this red velvet cake that looked amazing. On display they also had a lemon coconut cake - Dave's favorite. Maybe he and Jose can check this place out some time. After this quick dessert we went to Beverly Center to continue our nonspending window shopping.
When I came back from the mall I was quite tired. I finally finished the exams and went out to have dinner with Dave and Jose. They also had a big day shopping, eating and napping. I didn't get to nap today, but I was productive. Tomorrow I am going to relax and maybe see a movie.
09 May 2008
Tax incentive
I checked my account this morning and saw it was beefed up slightly. Yay! Every little bit helps. I am happy to get that "tax incentive," which will come in handy next month when my car insurance is due. I know, I don't get to enjoy shopping much anymore. I would love to one day.
I do need a new keyboard. For some reason, my iMac seems to live on year after year while the keyboard I pair it with keeps on dying. So there's that to buy. Nothing too exciting.
I watched a great documentary / one man show This Filthy World last night. I have always been a huge fan of John Waters' movies. They aren't technically good, but always have a strong, in-your-face, and strangely innocent, point of view. They are pure at core, hilarious of course, and although imperfect, always cheer and salute my inner weirdo. In this documentary he talks openly about things he finds funny, how to shock or "inspire" Americans and children, everyday "average" people in his hometown Baltimore, actors he worked with, and of course his films. He is provocative, extremely observant and engaging. I was so happy to have caught him on Showtime last night.
I do need a new keyboard. For some reason, my iMac seems to live on year after year while the keyboard I pair it with keeps on dying. So there's that to buy. Nothing too exciting.
I watched a great documentary / one man show This Filthy World last night. I have always been a huge fan of John Waters' movies. They aren't technically good, but always have a strong, in-your-face, and strangely innocent, point of view. They are pure at core, hilarious of course, and although imperfect, always cheer and salute my inner weirdo. In this documentary he talks openly about things he finds funny, how to shock or "inspire" Americans and children, everyday "average" people in his hometown Baltimore, actors he worked with, and of course his films. He is provocative, extremely observant and engaging. I was so happy to have caught him on Showtime last night.
08 May 2008
Cold windy morning
The temperature dropped and got surprisingly cold last night. This morning it was the same: windy, cloudy, and chilly. I remember just a couple of weekends ago the temperature reached 100° and everybody wanted to escape to the mall or simply started turning on the AC at home. What happened? This morning it was so cold I was contemplating wearing a sweatshirt before I left for work.
The sun just came out now. I don't get it.
The sun just came out now. I don't get it.
07 May 2008
Bad day
Dave had a bad day today. I remember I had one of those back in March. I should say there were several that came and came again, just few days apart. Nothing seemed to work right, and everything felt like pointless or could turn into another disaster. Talking about how these events unfold, sharing my thoughts and frustration, knowing someone else could relate to what I went through, and finally having a laugh about it all helped relieve the tension I had inside. It felt good to be there and offer my support. I think by the time we were having dinner Dave was in a much better mood and spirit. Yay for friends.
06 May 2008
Travel
One of my co-workers came to have a small chat this morning. She mentioned that she was in Europe once and visited several countries. We talked about the foods there and how she wished she could go back again. Later today Z emailed me and in the letter he wrote vividly the foods and cultural differences he experienced and learned from his trips around Europe. Suddenly I had this deeply inadequate, oh-why-haven't-I-seen-more-of-this-world, feeling.
I have never been the adventurous type. I stick to what I know. I am safe, practical, grounded, and kind of boring. If I were more of a risk taker, I would probably be traveling, tasting all kinds of foods, meeting all sorts of people, and putting my footprints everywhere. Instead, I'm standing here, typing, thinking, worrying, and feeling inadequate. I tend to make choices that involve the least uncertainty and yes, risk. I fear if I overextend myself or step out of my comfort zone my life may take a tumble, and I won't be able to recover. I don't know if I'm a product of the environment, but I am sure in the end of the day, I make the decisions myself, therefore I can't blame anyone or look at others when my life looks or feels lackluster. Of course I'm human and there are times I want to say, "My parents made me this way!" Yea, perhaps. But I did grow up without too much parenting, so that's not a proper justification.
On the one hand, I like how everything is stable and predictable. The outlook is even and steady. There isn't a lot of room for surprises. On the other hand, I don't get to experience what this world offers as much, and I miss certain opportunities to grow. I don't know. How am I doing so far? Do I have the right priorities? Am I doing the best I can? Am I making the right decisions?
All I know is. I can't wait for the change that is about to come. And please. COME SOON!
I have never been the adventurous type. I stick to what I know. I am safe, practical, grounded, and kind of boring. If I were more of a risk taker, I would probably be traveling, tasting all kinds of foods, meeting all sorts of people, and putting my footprints everywhere. Instead, I'm standing here, typing, thinking, worrying, and feeling inadequate. I tend to make choices that involve the least uncertainty and yes, risk. I fear if I overextend myself or step out of my comfort zone my life may take a tumble, and I won't be able to recover. I don't know if I'm a product of the environment, but I am sure in the end of the day, I make the decisions myself, therefore I can't blame anyone or look at others when my life looks or feels lackluster. Of course I'm human and there are times I want to say, "My parents made me this way!" Yea, perhaps. But I did grow up without too much parenting, so that's not a proper justification.
On the one hand, I like how everything is stable and predictable. The outlook is even and steady. There isn't a lot of room for surprises. On the other hand, I don't get to experience what this world offers as much, and I miss certain opportunities to grow. I don't know. How am I doing so far? Do I have the right priorities? Am I doing the best I can? Am I making the right decisions?
All I know is. I can't wait for the change that is about to come. And please. COME SOON!
05 May 2008
Stressed
Dave and Jose came by yesterday afternoon and we went to a small Chinese restaurant called Tasty Noodle House for lunch. It might be new, so it's not yet listed on Yelp. The food overall was satisfactory, well-balanced, and yes tasty. It was cheap too. Many dishes were in the "3 items for $10" special menu. Yay for cheap Chinese food!
We then went to see Baby Mama. The movie was better than I expected. The laughs were less shocking and adult, and more lighthearted and family-friendly. There were several bigger and more established actors co-starring in this movie, and I was surprised all the marketing so far only focused on Tina Fey. Since the movie was #1 last weekend, I guess she has proven that she's more than just a comedienne and script writer, she's now a also proven a box office draw.
I was feeling stressed last night and still am today. It has been a month since I started looking for jobs and I still haven't gotten any call back. I tell myself to be patient but sometimes the stress gets to me. I applied to more places today and that helped me feel less anxious. A little stress is good - It pushes me to get moving. Too much of it is not good - It causes me to lose sleep. I am learning to manage it. Let's hope for the best.
We then went to see Baby Mama. The movie was better than I expected. The laughs were less shocking and adult, and more lighthearted and family-friendly. There were several bigger and more established actors co-starring in this movie, and I was surprised all the marketing so far only focused on Tina Fey. Since the movie was #1 last weekend, I guess she has proven that she's more than just a comedienne and script writer, she's now a also proven a box office draw.
I was feeling stressed last night and still am today. It has been a month since I started looking for jobs and I still haven't gotten any call back. I tell myself to be patient but sometimes the stress gets to me. I applied to more places today and that helped me feel less anxious. A little stress is good - It pushes me to get moving. Too much of it is not good - It causes me to lose sleep. I am learning to manage it. Let's hope for the best.
03 May 2008
No plans
I woke up today with no plans. There was of course grocery shopping to do, rooms to clean, and traffic school to enroll. I did not feel like doing any of that "important" stuff today. I watched random TV shows and ate leftover food for breakfast + lunch. There was this movie, Zoom, that was pretty horrendous. It was not fun, or fresh, or entertaining. Of course I finished watching it! I had to know how bad it could be, and it was bad!
PK called me and we decided to go see Iron Man. The theater was packed and we had to switch to a later time because the 2:00 show was already sold out. We walked around the area and returned to wait in line half an hour later. I was worried with all these people and children, I would be miserable in the theater. Luckily we found ourselves great seats and the kids around us were also very well behaved. I was surprised and happy.
The movie is good. The characters are well-developed and believable. The special effects are seamless and storyline is strong and simple. I would prefer the villain to be a little more threatening and the device more menacing, but overall it is a solid superhero movie.
PK and I then had burger and burrito for dinner. Now I'm back at home and still, no plans for the evening. Maybe more bad TV. Hahaha.
PK called me and we decided to go see Iron Man. The theater was packed and we had to switch to a later time because the 2:00 show was already sold out. We walked around the area and returned to wait in line half an hour later. I was worried with all these people and children, I would be miserable in the theater. Luckily we found ourselves great seats and the kids around us were also very well behaved. I was surprised and happy.
The movie is good. The characters are well-developed and believable. The special effects are seamless and storyline is strong and simple. I would prefer the villain to be a little more threatening and the device more menacing, but overall it is a solid superhero movie.
PK and I then had burger and burrito for dinner. Now I'm back at home and still, no plans for the evening. Maybe more bad TV. Hahaha.
02 May 2008
4 word reviews
Loose. Fun. Bouncy. Natural.
Simple. Pleasant. Consistent. Comfortable.
Jumpy. Edgy. Controlled. Processed.
Future-ish. Electronic-y. Uneven. Chilly.
01 May 2008
Grumpy
I had a bad day at work today. A master file I spent the entire morning building and modifying suddenly got corrupted when it was just beginning to look right. It could not be opened again. I was so mad. I went online and looked for possible solutions. I even downloaded a program and hoped it would fix my file. It didn't.
Just when I grew more and more upset by the second, different people started to come into my office and I was inundated with random work requests. I am sure I had a terrible look on my face when everyone saw me. My mind was not in a calm state, so I tried to cope with this nasty mood and take care of the issues at hand. Then I checked my email.
PK wrote me to ask about the shows that we might see in Vegas. I IM-ed him and got into a long and messy conversation about the trip. Hearing PK talking about what he would like to do and what he would like to see irritated me. I did not bring it up, but when I was on the phone with Sylvia later, I asked her, "Why couldn't he ask me if I was interested in what he was proposing? Why didn't he consider activities that might interest me? Why does it have to be about what he enjoys and what he wants all the time?"
Then I figured out my problem. PK is not talking my language. I want options and considerations. I want to feel I matter and am thought of. I want to hear that it is not just what he wants, I want to also hear that he is thinking about what I want or might not want. Yes that's expecting a lot from someone. It's generally how I go about things with someone I care about, however for most people, it's like a boyfriend or girlfriend or family member thing to do. Some just don't do that with friends.
I shouldn't expect that from PK. Sylvia listened to my rant quietly and said, "You're so grumpy!"
She had no idea.
Just when I grew more and more upset by the second, different people started to come into my office and I was inundated with random work requests. I am sure I had a terrible look on my face when everyone saw me. My mind was not in a calm state, so I tried to cope with this nasty mood and take care of the issues at hand. Then I checked my email.
PK wrote me to ask about the shows that we might see in Vegas. I IM-ed him and got into a long and messy conversation about the trip. Hearing PK talking about what he would like to do and what he would like to see irritated me. I did not bring it up, but when I was on the phone with Sylvia later, I asked her, "Why couldn't he ask me if I was interested in what he was proposing? Why didn't he consider activities that might interest me? Why does it have to be about what he enjoys and what he wants all the time?"
Then I figured out my problem. PK is not talking my language. I want options and considerations. I want to feel I matter and am thought of. I want to hear that it is not just what he wants, I want to also hear that he is thinking about what I want or might not want. Yes that's expecting a lot from someone. It's generally how I go about things with someone I care about, however for most people, it's like a boyfriend or girlfriend or family member thing to do. Some just don't do that with friends.
I shouldn't expect that from PK. Sylvia listened to my rant quietly and said, "You're so grumpy!"
She had no idea.
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