Travel

One of my co-workers came to have a small chat this morning. She mentioned that she was in Europe once and visited several countries. We talked about the foods there and how she wished she could go back again. Later today Z emailed me and in the letter he wrote vividly the foods and cultural differences he experienced and learned from his trips around Europe. Suddenly I had this deeply inadequate, oh-why-haven't-I-seen-more-of-this-world, feeling.

I have never been the adventurous type. I stick to what I know. I am safe, practical, grounded, and kind of boring. If I were more of a risk taker, I would probably be traveling, tasting all kinds of foods, meeting all sorts of people, and putting my footprints everywhere. Instead, I'm standing here, typing, thinking, worrying, and feeling inadequate. I tend to make choices that involve the least uncertainty and yes, risk. I fear if I overextend myself or step out of my comfort zone my life may take a tumble, and I won't be able to recover. I don't know if I'm a product of the environment, but I am sure in the end of the day, I make the decisions myself, therefore I can't blame anyone or look at others when my life looks or feels lackluster. Of course I'm human and there are times I want to say, "My parents made me this way!" Yea, perhaps. But I did grow up without too much parenting, so that's not a proper justification.

On the one hand, I like how everything is stable and predictable. The outlook is even and steady. There isn't a lot of room for surprises. On the other hand, I don't get to experience what this world offers as much, and I miss certain opportunities to grow. I don't know. How am I doing so far? Do I have the right priorities? Am I doing the best I can? Am I making the right decisions?

All I know is. I can't wait for the change that is about to come. And please. COME SOON!