"Sloppy Jose"

I had a pretty normal day today. Besides having some stomach problem and feeling kind of dizzy at times, things went on according to plan. Dave made "sloppy jose" tonight and it was yummy. There was also lemony asparagus and spicy macaroni. Then we had grapefruit sorbet and leftover cherry pie with vanilla ice cream. I know, a lot of food, but I just kept on eating.

Jane's birthday party is on Saturday, so that's something I am looking forward to. Other than that, it's going to be another uneventful, relaxing weekend.

Mostly Good... Can Be a Downer

Wow. May is just around the corner. Where did the time go? I of course have had a nice break for months. It's still going too. There has been sporadic panic, some depression, definitely relaxation, and of course thorough appreciation of life. So far, so good. A chunky mixed bag of lessons, inspirations, doubts, and emotions... I am thankful that I am healthy and aware. And I am generally hopeful that things will turn around. These are my pluses. The minuses? I am not with anyone. And I am still without a job. Luckily because I worked a few days this and last week, I am feeling pretty solid now.

I really don't want to base my mood on a job, but I have to admit life's more settled and secure when there's a sense of purpose, and I can count on being paid regularly :)

I don't know how I feel about Lost tonight. I hope they didn't kill Daniel. It's a downer for me. Speaking of "downer" I LOVE LOVE this Debbie Downer clip.

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I love my neighbor

I ended up working some hours today too. I know, what's happening?!

Afterwards I went to the gym, came back and chatted with my neighbor a bit. She was so nice to me. She gave me fruits and cooked me dinner too. I couldn't thank her enough. I watched AI, Fringe, and Bravo's housewives. Riveting!

Hmm. Why is the news so drawn to the flu piece? It's the front running news on every channel. It is like some kind of propaganda, creating some kind of monstrous panic no one really needs right now. Then again, people should know about this. I just think it's too, too much coverage.

I love Vh1

I worked a little more than half a day today. I might have another day of work, or another half a day sometime this week, I will find out later. After work I went to the gym, came home, took my neighbor to CVS for her medicine, and came back home again to rest for good.

I'm addicted to Vh1. I love their shows "I Love Money" and "Tough Love"... but I am not that big of a fan of their bachelor/bachelorette shows. Everything else in their "reality competition" genre, including the returning "Charm School" (with Ricki Lake!!!) pulls me in every time. It's trashy, it's campy, it's at times clever, it's usually dumb, it's everything brainless entertainment should be. I mean, I do watch Lost... but for every complicated, smart show, I need a few more silly shows like the ones on Vh1 to keep my everyday TV consumption in balance.

I love Frenchy aka Angelique... Her interviews are always hilarious, and whoever "translated" her confessions, my hero.

Legs and thighs

I spent another day at home, only went out to have dinner with Dave and Jose. Actually, that's not true. I went out and splurged on lunch. I got 6 PCs chicken legs and thighs from El Pollo Loco for $4.99. It's one of their advertised specials. I was going to get a sub, but I changed my mind mid-way. I figured this special wouldn't last long, so I should go for it. Hmm... it might be just me, but the pieces included were kind of small. Oh well, they tasted good... and sometimes that's all that matters.

I have work tomorrow. Yay. I briefly looked at the job postings tonight and didn't see a lot of possibilities. April is coming to an end, and I thought this month was going to be my turning point. Maybe May?

Home all day

I went out only once today, then spent the rest of the day in my apartment. After my nap I had some canned soup. It tied me over mostly. Then around 10 o'clock I began to feel like having a sandwich. Or fried chicken. Or a steak. Basically I wanted to have whatever was advertised on TV. Only I was too lazy to put on some decent clothes to leave the apartment, and it was kind of cold outside too. I ended up just having some snacks and fantasizing about the junk food I could have.

Refreshing

I worked an entire day today. I know, how refreshing. It went by so fast. I didn't even realize I missed lunch. I did have some snack throughout the day. It was a nice change of pace, focusing on finishing something and accomplishing something. I will be back next Monday too. Who knows how long this will last? Sigh. I need a new job.

Work feels good

I worked 5 hours today. It actually went well. I was focused and taking care of business. I will be back tomorrow too. Remembering how I was reluctant about returning to work, it's a relief that I had a good time today. I visited Dave and we went grocery shopping. I was supposed to help Dave with some Craigslist listing and selling, he wasn't in the mood. I can't say I was either. I fell asleep while Dave was preparing dinner. Jose came in when I was dozing off on the couch. I think I was out for an hour. I haven't been sleeping very well since the freaky heat wave hit LA. The temperature became milder last two nights, but still I couldn't sleep comfortably at all. Sigh. I hope I get my sleep back.

I ate a lot tonight. The hamburger came out wonderfully and the fries were amazing. I had 2 burgers, lots of fries, grilled beans, a slice of cherry pie, and scoops of Dave's homemade vanilla ice cream. So full! Dave was like, you're still eating? Yep. I usually turn into a pig when I go to Dave's, there's no denying that!

Reluctant

So I have work tomorrow. Yay. Kind of. I kept feeling reluctant to go back to this company that had me employed all these years, and continued to call me back after I was laid off. Yes, last 7 weeks I didn't hear from them. I felt fine about that actually. I have wanted to move on from them for so long, starting long before I got my green card. Going back to work there repeatedly feels like I can't succeed in getting away from them. There's nothing wrong with the company. This reluctance has everything to do with my own insecurity and self-confidence. I tell myself that it's a blessing to be accountable and relied on, and HELLO I'm JOBLESS! At the same time, I really want to have nothing to do with them. So I keep going back and forth, feeling hesitant. Hearing how I sound now, I really don't want to seem ungrateful, and it's beginning to look that way. So I am just going to shut it.

Can't complain

My plans today all turned out differently than I expected. I was going to help Dave pick a few things to sell on Craigslist, that got canceled. I was going to meet up with Megan for tea, but I fell asleep and didn't hear the phone ring, so we just hung out at my place. My ex-manager called and asked me to go in for half a day tomorrow, then I found out tonight the software he wanted was not installed at all, so I won't be doing that either. I still had a pretty good day. I talked with Z for more than an hour. It's always nice to chat with an old friend. So, tomorrow is my day again. I can't really complain.


I-Movix SprintCam v3 NAB 2009 showreel from David Coiffier on Vimeo.

Freaking Hot

LA was freaking hot today. I think we're still in the 80s now. Yesterday also was hot, but today was ridiculous! I actually turned on my AC this afternoon because my apartment was cooking like an oven. I am pretty sure I sweated a gallon while driving my neighbor to her doctor's visit and going to my bank. I felt lightheaded and lost all my appetite. How lucky all those hospital staff and bank employees got to stay indoors and enjoy free AC! I envied them. The local news said the temperature reached 100s in my area, IN EFFING APRIL! What the...

Dave's Birthday Party

Dave's birthday dinner party went better than I expected. I was afraid that the restaurant wouldn't have the table ready for us, but the staff was expecting us when we got there half an hour early. I guess recession is sometimes good. Hunan Chilli King was very generous to us, and yes, the food was super spicy and of course delicious. The cake was a hit too. The only thing I am not sure about was the present. Dave will "talk about it" later with me. So we'll see.

I came home after the dinner and didn't go to the bar with everyone. I don't really drink so I won't have as much fun. Jose can take control of the festivities from there.

Small lunch

I didn't go to the gym this morning. I was feeling lazy. Jose called when I was chatting with my neighbor and asked me if I wanted to do lunch with them. Of course, I met up with them at A & J after they finished shopping. The food was good, not great. And it was a small lunch too, I didn't get too greedy with ordering too many dishes this time. I came home, rested a little, went out again to get a cake for Dave's birthday, came back and took a nap. One other productive thing I did was wrapping. I really suck at it, but it has to be done. Now it's time for more relaxing :)

Burnt Pizza

It was a pretty uneventful day today. The only fun thing I did was hanging out with Dave and Jose. Dave actually burned the pizza! Wow, that had not happened in a long long time. He also made really good blood orange and grapefruit sorbet, and we watched TV together. I just got home. Now feeling good and relaxed. It is going to be a smooth, mellow weekend.

Different approach

I applied for some very different jobs today. Writing tutor, director's assistant, office manager, positions I don't think I have applied before. I am feeling experimental... or is it desperation? I don't know. I suppose it's time for a different approach to job search. I am not hearing anything back from jobs I normally go for, so why not?

SUV Commercials

There were a lot of Lexus commercials during Lost tonight. What's up with that? I saw two during every commercial break. That was a lot! Who knew geeks and nerds would be into driving some fancy Lexus SUVs? On the other hand, I saw more Audi SUV commercials during Fox's Fringe. What was that about? People who are into paranormal, sci-fi shows are more inclined to drive an European SUV? I'm sure there's some serious, extensive marketing research and analysis done to determine who tunes in every week, and which car makers can benefit the most from these findings and data. Anyway, just some off-the-track observations.

I helped Dave sell his old Apple printer tonight. The guy was nice, but he was too careful. I know, you can never be too careful with buying anything off Craigslist. If I were him, I would probably do the same thing. I just wouldn't go through every testing procedure after 10 PM at someone's house. And I wouldn't have the nerve to keep going at it when I knew it was taking a lot longer than it should. Then again, I understand it. Nobody wants to spend money and bring home a defective, nonfunctional product. Fortunately the transaction was a success. So yes, I might have that salesperson gene in my blood after all. Tonight Dave reminded me again that I sold my car off Craigslist, and I did so with Steven's car too. Should I be looking at sales positions now?

Nah... not if I have a choice.

The Happiest Place on Earth (Today)

I went to the gym, watered my plants, applied for jobs, and had lunch. After I did what I had to do, I decided to go to Marshall's, aka The Happiest Place on Earth (Today). It's a place I could just lose myself in and not feel lost. I like the selection process, I like the price comparison process, I like the finding only one in my size process. It's so fulfilling! Even if I end up not getting anything, I feel full and alive. Jose told me Ikea is like that for him. It's a bonding moment.

Of course I can't spoil it by visiting too often. Once a month is good. I know I don't have a job and should not be "shopping" or spending. But it's really nice to get out of the apartment and immerse myself in a environment where I feel excited and renewed. If I picked up a few items, in the end I would most likely return them to the racks, which I did today. OK, so I kept one cologne. It was like, painfully cheap. I just couldn't say no. That's one small perk-me-up present for myself, and I refuse to feel guilty about buying it. Anyway, I am happy. Thanks Marshall's.

Act

I woke up today feeling down. It stayed down pretty much until I hit the gym. I also applied for a bunch of jobs after lunch, that definitely helped my mood. I know I can usually find relief when I finish, accomplish something, or when I do something about feeling low. I discover my mood always gets worse when I just think about the stress, think about not having a job. The more I focus on the negativity the darker and deeper my mood dives.

Self-pity is always the easiest and the quickest shortcut to depression. Feeling victimized, feeling unworthy, feeling alone, I can go on and on. This is the mind game I step into frequently these days, but can never win if I keep on staying. So I tell myself, act, regardless what action I take, be it exercising at the gym, or applying for jobs, or chatting with my neighbor, anything to stop sitting, dwelling on thoughts, and riding that fast train into destination darkness. Act or distract, that's my own remedy for curing minor depression.

Of course, my neighbor fed me again this afternoon. She made rice and stuffed chicken with green beans. It was so delicious. I felt lucky, and very thankful. Thanks Caretas.

More hanging out

Lunch with Judy was very good. She's very concerned about my job situation. I wish I had better news to tell her, but in all seriousness I haven't done any work for more than a month. I am hoping this month I will make good progress. We'll see. Tonight I had dinner with Jen Jane Wayne John and Kathy. Food at Yai's was good but very spicy. I asked for "mild" thinking it would be tolerable, but it was still too hot for me. Everyone looked rested. Jen had some developing band drama that was annoying her. I found out everyone on the table had his and her own worries and stresses. Sharing our stories lifted our spirits and brought us great laughs. Tomorrow is another new beginning. Let's see what comes next.

Parking Ticket :(

No gym! I hung out with Dave and Jose today. We went to Northern Chinese for lunch. We ordered their cold greens, mixed mushrooms, spicy tofu skin, and 3 vegetable combo (eggplant + potato + green pepper). It was garlicky delicious and very good. Afterwards we went to different restaurant supply stores to look for this outdoor range options Dave wanted to set up. Lastly we went to Hawaiian Supermarket to buy food and groceries. When we got back in the car we found out I was issued a ticket. Oops. Parking between 3:00 and 6:00 PM is no good on the street next to the supermarket. $45 just went out of the window. Still, it was a fun day spent.

Up and down

I don't know how I am feeling today... a little up and down. Sent out my resume to a few more places. Didn't see my neighbor. Went to the gym. Normal routine, like most weekends. I feel aimless. I worry about my life's direction. There's a dire sense of uncertainty I can't shake or overlook. I know I need to be content with what I have. I know that getting a job won't prevent me from thinking about these things, but it will certainly fill up my time. I do believe I am capable of, at times, even destined to do something awesome. The problem is what, and is this just some big, self-gratifying wishful thinking? I don't know. I am probably just bored.

Nano Panic

I ran into a silly panic mode today for a nanosecond. I had a t-shirt hanging in the bathroom above the toilet for the past few days. When I went to look for it this afternoon I was surprised it wasn't there. I looked down, nope it wasn't on the floor. I looked up, nope it wasn't on the hanger. It wasn't in the bathtub either. Inside I began to scream a little, "Oh NO! It fell off and dropped into the toilet!!!"

"Did I flush it down already?!"

"I didn't... I don't think I... "

Then I saw I was wearing it all along. Duh! I'm still wearing it. So not gonna hang it over the toilet anymore.

Who's looking forward to the Real NJ Housewives?

Damn you Bravo with your "The Real Housewives of" series!!! Really, before tonight, I had no interest in watching your latest bunch, those from why-oh-why New Jersey. I mean, you already did New York, why bothered with its closest next door neighbor? I was fine when you did Atlanta, because frankly, those ladies were very entertaining. Unlike the ones from the OC, whom I grew to like then back to dislike this past year. I wish you would just quit it, but no, you had to find these other "housewives" to keep me glued to you every Tuesday night.

Yes, tonight's preview episode of them NJ spoiled, big-haired, tacky women turned me around, pulled me in, and wouldn't let go. I see what you did Bravo, now 3 of these 5 are related, and there's that Soprano/Family/Blood-is-thicker-than-water thing going on. I wouldn't think it would matter, but I was wrong. The dynamics with those sister-in-law's and the one who might end up totally broke thanks to her divorce, and what did I just hear, she was also a hooker, madam, or something? Damn! See Bravo you've done it again! Damn you! Now I'll have to watch it when the real NJ "Italian-scented" housewives takes over the real NY "Jewish-flavored" housewives' time slot in a few weeks just to see who will become the most wicked, and the bitchiest, and the tackiest, and (gasp) the poorest on the show! I'm so looking forward to it it's not even funny.

Another shot at the same job posting

I applied for 3 jobs today, one was another retry. Make that tri-try. It's a different process this time though. The company has gotten all fancy with its own screening procedures online. Maybe they won't remember me?

They are probably scratching their heads now thinking, "OMG it's THAT guy again! This is like, the 1000th time we've seen his resume! Doesn't he get that no answer means NO THANK YOU?"

Well... to that I say, "What do I care?!" All I have is time. And the power to improve that application (I hope) each time it's submitted. By the way, why aren't they done with the search? It's a position that keeps popping out every other month. I don't get it.

Another funny SNL clip

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Another night out

I had a great dinner with Jose Dave Regina and Anjelo tonight. It felt liberating to laugh and eat and joke and relate to each other. Mandarin Deli always treats us well. The food was delicious and perfectly cooked. We had no complaints! Later we went to Jose's to have a special dessert Dave got. It was another Claim Jumper frozen pie, coconut cream... It was good, but a little rich for me. Tonight was a truly yummy evening from the start to the last bite. So happy!

And I haven't been able to stop dancing to this song after Jose helped me find it:

Jen's Bday

I just got back from Jen's birthday dinner at Messob. It was a lot of food and laughs among old friends. It's always nice to get out of the apartment every now and then. Everyone was concerned about my unemployment, I wanted to act cool, but it was better to be honest. I don't really know when the job will come and if I will be happy with the next job. I just take it one day at a time and watch my spending. I know whatever happens I will be ready.

Full & Happy

I ate too much. My nice neighbor asked me if I wanted to go to Hometown Buffet with her after I came back from the gym. I was planning on having the leftover soup she gave me, but I didn't want to say no. So I said yes. She was cleaning and wasn't going to leave for another hour and half. Since I was kind of hungry, I ate the leftover from my lunch with Cameron, then took a shower, and waited. We went around 3:20 and finished this very late lunch by 5. Needless to say I was stuffed. After spending a short while in TJMaxx, we came back and I started to get ready for Dave's. I know, I just had big all-you-can-eat meal and I was about to eat again! I picked Cameron up in Little Tokyo before 6 and together we went to Dave's. Fortunately the dinner didn't start 'til 7. I was surprised that I was able to eat more. Citrus salad, deep-dish pizza, grilled brussels sprout and pear almond tart, what can I say, I have a big stomach. Dave and Jose showed me the new Wii game, Animal Crossing: City Folk, that they just got and it was TOO CUTE. I dropped off Cameron around 10:30 and hit some serious traffic on the 10E on the way home. This was a full and happy day.

Resume file size

Why does Craigs List limit the file size that you want to send to the job poster to only 150K? Why can't it be 200K?! I usually send out my resume in PDF and generally have no problem with job sites, except for Careerbuilder, which only takes the resume in Word or Copy/Paste.

Today right after I finished and sent out my resume to the CL poster my email bounced right back, telling me I exceeded their set limit. I wonder why I never had that issue before? So I tried different PDF export options but none was able to reduce the PDF size to less than 150K. Then I decided to use Word and created the PDF via print. It worked, and the size was smaller, but it just didn't look as good. The font and the spacing and the formatting and the whole page simply looked off. I could keep on modifying the resume and try to make it look nice in Word, but it was just not measuring up to the InDesign version. So I just typed the resume content in my email body with some necessary formatting. Away it went. Did 3 today.

Will I finally get a job this month? Hope so!