One of those moods

I'm in one of those moods again... uncertain and unhappy. What path am I going to choose? What is the right direction? What should I do? I don't know. This is probably why people get into drugs or something. I will wait a little more and then decide. It's going to be fine. I just need to calm myself down and be OK with the choices I make, even if they don't work out perfectly.

Loud AC

LA has been ridiculously hot these past few days. The fire that has consumed the mountains and the cities around them is just as devastating. I have no choice, I must turn my AC on when I'm home. Last night I decided to go back to sleeping in my bedroom. Yea, I spent two nights on my couch in the living room last week because my portable AC was just too loud. The living room has enough space to distance me from the AC noise, so I can stay in sleep better. This setup actually worked the first night, but not the second. Perhaps it was because I took a nap that day, or the couch was just not very comfortable this time around, I decided it was time to go back to the bedroom. Things actually went fine last night. I slept well and woke up this morning feeling good. Then of course I had to go and take a nap this afternoon, and potentially ruin tonight's sleep. Ugh.

Thank-you speech

I worked half a day today. Came back home, went to the gym, rested a little, talked to Dad, hung out with Dave and Jose, and finished a short thank-you speech for Dad. I still don't know very much what Freemasonry is, but I think Dad really enjoys being part of this organization. I was glad to be able to contribute to his acceptance / thank-you speech. Dave and Jose and I played the board game "Sorry" tonight. It was a ton of fun. Dave kept winning. I was lucky enough to win the last round. The berry pie they got from Fresh & Easy wasn't very good. Dave's pies definitely taste a whole lot better than this. Oh well, it was cheap and now it's mine. I will probably share it with PK, hahaha!

Dong Xie Xi Du

I watched Ashes of Time Redux on DVD today (Thanks PK). I saw the original years ago, I remember liking it but not crazy about it. It was pretty much the same this time around. It's got a lot of pretty, stunning images and philosophical exchanges and longings. There's fresh and quite unexpected take on characters' backstories for people who are familiar with Jing Yong's novel The Legend of the Condor Heroes. There's Wong Kar Wai's signature visual style and flair that delight the eyes. But as a movie, as a whole, it's just missing a jolt of energy. I understand he was trying to redefine the genre and breaking new grounds. He certainly twisted the conventions and aesthetics of a typical kung fu movie. But when he decided to obliterate the spirit of a kung fu / wire fu film, many parts of this film just became faded, stalled, dull and lifeless. The dialog and getting-to-know the characters parts are nice, but why do we want to care how they are related to each other or see how nicely they are lit and filmed if most of them appear to be unlikeable, pretentious, and one-dimensional, and always act like they're so disconnected and miserable? I don't know, generally I'm a big fan of Wong Kar Wai. I just don't think this is among his best work.

Noise caused by gas

I went back to my mechanic today to sort out the noise issue. Nervous and annoyed, I was filled with frustration because I already paid a good amount for the repairs last week, and I really didn't want to spend any more. Master Huang was busy so he asked one of his staff to drive it with me. When I pointed out the noise, he asked me what kind of gas I had been buying. "Regular," I responded.

"You have to use premium," A-Gar said.

"You're telling me this is a gas problem?"

"Yes."

I was so surprised. I asked him a couple of more times to make sure that was what I was hearing. When we came back to the shop, Master Huang was agreeing to that assessment. I used to buy premium gas when I first bought the car, but after a few months, I switched to cheap, regular grade. I talked to Sylvia, she also said that answer made sense. Oh well, I am going to feed it premium tomorrow. If that really gets rid of the clinking noise, I will buy expensive, premium grade (perhaps mix with mid grade sometime) from now on.

Matchmaking

Silly me, I was trying to match-make a couple of my friends. For one reason or the other, it didn't work out. It really is not easy to be a matchmaker. There are too many unknowns. I just thought they are two good people, and pretty good friends of mine, so I should be able to do this. Men and women probably act a little differently when it comes to dating versus hanging out as friends. Of course I also don't want to interfere too much, worrying that I might mess up the friendship I already have with them. This matchmaking business is a lot more delicate than I anticipated. If there's any mature, single guys in his mid to high 30s, looking to find the right girl to build a relationship with, and is living in the Los Angeles or Orange County area, I have a great, cute girl friend I can introduce you to. Take a chance. No pressure. Are you out there?

Especially For You by Kylie Minoque & Jason Donavan:

Feeling nostalgic

I have been feeling very nostalgic these couple of days. Reminiscing and thinking about my early teen age years, before coming to US, then living in NY Flushing, and not speaking a word of English, but was watching way too much MTV!

Don't Wanna Fall In Love by Jane Child recently popped into my head... I used to think she looked a little scary, but I LOVED LOVED LOVED this song...



You Win Again by Bee Gees was one of those songs I heard the first time and immediately I fell deeply into its spell. I couldn't speak the language but I felt the song wholeheartedly and I remember its melody vividly. I'm so glad to be able to enjoy it today with a fresh perspective... still such an amazing song!



I'll Be Your Shelter by Taylor Dane - This music video used to be on heavy rotation on MTV... I wasn't familiar with her name because she wasn't popular when I was in Taiwan, but in NY I was mesmerized by this song, and her looks, and of course her voice. I remember thinking, "Wow, she's great but I've never heard of this person before!" Hahaha... The good old innocent days!

Must resist napping

I was a good boy today. I went to work, came home, went to the gym, and came back home again. No one called me, so I didn't have an excuse to go out. I ate some leftover food and that was my dinner. I was tired, but I keep myself awake. Last night I didn't sleep very well. I was tossing and turning and thinking about all sorts of stuff. I didn't want to spend another night like that, so I resisted napping at all cost before and after dinner. My goal is to have a thorough and non-disruptive bedtime tonight.

Engine mounts are expensive

My car went through some major hurdles today. I finally brought it to my old mechanic yesterday morning. The main reason for my visit was that there was this noise that it kept making even though the bodyshop I went to not long ago told me they already fixed it. And it was time for its oil change anyways. Once Daming Auto Repair's Master Huang looked at the engine he knew what caused the noise immediately. The engine mounts had to go. He said the brake pads were bad too. Also the battery looked pretty crumbly.

"Fine, replace them all," I decided.

At first I thought I was going to have to come back when Master Huang found out that he couldn't get the parts. Nope. He didn't want me to drive my somewhat broken car anymore. So I ended up renting a car, coming back home, went to Dave's for dinner, returning the rental this morning, and waiting a couple of hours 'til I had my car back. The cost was a bit more than I was expecting, but with car repairs that's usually the case. Fortunately I do trust Huang and his work, and I also feel the car is indeed riding more comfortably. I just hope today is not going to turn into the beginning of many more problems to come, at least not for a while! I really don't like dealing with and paying for pricey car repairs!

Self-fulfilling Prophecy

The interview was not a waste of time, however it was very close. When I entered the building, there was no one working in the reception desk. In fact the entire front office space was empty. I saw a few guys in the backroom having a meeting, but nobody seemed to care someone had just walked in. There was a cleaning lady who greeted me at first, but she also walked away politely. Finally the girl who was supposed to give me an interview appeared, shook my hand, and walked with me to her office. The overall space behind the front reception area felt a little cramped. It was part showroom, part conference room, part stockroom, and part office. I guess this would also have to be their employees' kitchen and lunch room. Our meeting didn't produce any sparks. I could tell she was not interested in my portfolio or my experiences. She made a comment regarding my previous company being closed in the beginning of the interview, and seemed rather dismissive about what I did there. She never went into what they would provide or offer as a company, and although still very cordial, she firmly kept her distance and disinterest. Not that I was into her shining personality, or the very organized work area, or the impressively run company myself. I knew this job wasn't going to be great when I was studying their ad last night, and when I saw how everyone acted there this morning and how she reacted towards me, I knew this company ultimately would not work out for me. I know I am in no position to be picky. I am looking for a job and I want to be productive. Still, if the opportunity is not right, I have to be honest about the situation. After today's interview I felt a simple, direct response, explicitly telling me this was not it. It's kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy, I mean, I did call it last night. Saying this company or the interview would most likely suck, and it certainly did. Sigh. Another interview in the bag and the search continues.

Interview Tomorrow

I finally got another interview. I spent sometime tonight printing out more artwork for my portfolio. At this point I really don't know what to expect. I've had one spectacularly disastrous job interview, and a bunch of so so ones, all result to nothing. Reading the job ad now, the company seems to be looking for someone with very little experience but can deliver a lot. No mention of benefits, or anything nice or inviting about the company or its environment, culture, etc. The ad is all about what they are expecting you to do for them everyday, what you ought to have, what is always required of you at any given time. All this, you, as a recent college graduate or with 1 year of graphics experience, must bring to the table. Yeah, this charming posting almost guarantees jaw-dropping, disappointing low pay, draining work schedule, and a demanding, cranky boss. Yet I applied for it and I'm being called in for an interview. Yay for me! Am I in a poopy mood or what?! Well, I am looking forward to the interview, however I have a strong feeling this isn't the one for me. The search continues.

Indecisive

I had work today, and will have work tomorrow too! Yay! I still would like a full time position. Don't know when or how that will happen though. These days I've seen how indecisive I've become. A lot of times I make a decision, then I start thinking about its pros and cons. I begin debating within and suddenly change my mind. Of course I take another look at my first decision, and go over the reasons why I arrived at that decision. I go back and forth, over and over, it's pretty helpless. Sometimes I just end up doing nothing, like choosing nothing. I'm sure this is some kind of sickness. And it's unattractive. It slows my brain and makes me dumb too. I don't know why I'm this way. This is why I feel unsettled.

Short Sunday

It was a short day today. I went to the gym and took a nap. Hung out with Dave Jose Regina Anjelo PK David and Abe tonight. Hong Yei was not very busy, but the food was just as excellent. The service was outstanding too. It was a delicious and completely satisfying meal. Afterwards we all went to PK's and had Dave's vodka coconut pudding cake. It was cakelicious! We hung out at his place some more and Dave helped PK set up his bed frame. What's better than enjoying great food and big laughter with awesome friends?

Alone

I worked today - and might find Dave some work too. The boss seems to trust me enough that he wants to see if I can recommend someone to come work on their still-in-progress website. We'll see how things go. I thought I was going to have dinner with Dave and Jose, but they didn't call me back. Instead I just took a nice nap on my couch and had leftover pizza afterwards. Later when I drove out to get some groceries I suddenly felt kind of alone. Sigh. I have neglected that side of my life for a while. I just don't feel I am in the position to pursue a relationship. It's not that I don't want to, I just convince myself it's not the right time to do so. Well, so when is the right time? I guess there's never going to be a definite answer to that question. Still, being unemployed and feeling extremely unsettled, this is definitely not a good time or place to attempt a committed coupledom. Whatever. I just look away and guide my thoughts onto something else.

Movie Time

I finally went out and saw a couple of movies today. I saw Funny People and G.I. Joe. Funny People was just OK. I didn't hate it or love it. It certainly has many touching, and of course funny moments. It just doesn't glue all that well together. I thought it could be more focused and trimmed down. G.I. Joe was fun, a nice kid-friendly summer blockbuster. I thought the dialog could be less clunky or cheesy, but I really enjoyed the action segment, especially the chase scenes.

Ugh! Mistakes!

I was in an OK mood today. Then I talked with Brendan, who helped me realize some mistakes I made. I acted like I was fine, but it bothered me lots. Oh well, once I face the repercussions I will be good again. Last night I spoke with mom and she said it would be better if I visited her during October. So now my plan is to check the fares after Jen's wedding. Mom is more open-minded now. She doesn't feel that I must stay longer than 2 months. So, as long as I come back before Thanksgiving, both she and I will be happy. We'll see how things go.

Neighborly

I helped PK move his new couch up to his apartment today. It was a nice piece and I was happy for him that his place was getting more settled and furnished. We then went to Yogurtland to have ourselves some treats, then Kang Kang to get a take-out combo for his lunch tomorrow. We also spent some time shopping and browsing Big Lots and Dollar Tree. Bargains were everywhere. Yes quite a few of unknown, random brands too. I was intrigued and excited about the cheap wines Big Lots carried. PK decided to try two of them, and later told me one of them, Demonique, was pretty terrible. Oh well let's hope the other one tastes better.

I have 2 especially kind neighbors. Caretas is always kind, caring, and generous to me. We went out for lunch today and had lots of laughs. It was great to see her feeling better again. After my dentist visit, I came back and took a short nap. Caretas knew I didn't have dinner yet, so she prepared a dinner plate for me too. How did I get so lucky?! I thanked her like I did always. She's so genuinely sweet to me, I sometimes just don't know how to express my gratitude besides thanking her again and again. Later this evening on my way out to the gym, my other neighbor stopped me and asked if I eat sushi. I said yes, and she gave me 2 boxes of sushi on the spot. Wow! She had given me sushi before, but tonight I was reminded again that I had another wonderful neighbor who cared. I know I am truly blessed to have these wonderful, almost motherly figures living next to me. I don't always remember that, I should. How nice it is to have someone care about you and want to make sure that you're OK? I am very appreciative of the love and friendship I have received from the people whom I might have never met or known if I didn't live here. Or they just figured out that a beast like me loves to eat and decided to keep me fed whenever they could! Hahaha!

Typhoon

It's heartbreaking to see all the damages Typhoon Morakot has caused in Taiwan. The rain has not stopped in some areas and more deaths are being reported. There are hundreds missing. Houses, apartments, roads, bridges, the entire villages... gone. Nothing seemed to escape the wrath of Typhoon Morakot in Southern Taiwan. Thankfully Dad is doing OK in Taipei. I hope and pray there are more people found and rescued in the coming days. My heart and thoughts go out to those who are still looking to be saved or reunited with their families.

Shopping around

Jose and I went to Target today and did some shopping. I knew what I was going to get, I knew what I needed, but it felt good to get something that I wanted too. Jose was happy to visit a Target he had not visited before. Luckily we both found what we needed and wanted. We felt very satisfied I must say. Afterwards we had banh mi and ice coffee for lunch at Lee's and then went to Fresh & Easy to get more groceries. While browsing the cleaning supplies aisle we realized we both forgot to get Swifter's refills. There's a Target right across the street, so we went to that one and bought more stuff! I had been thinking about checking off my shopping list, and I was glad I didn't have to do it alone. Jose was a great shopping and dining partner ;)

Eventful Saturday

I had an eventful day. In the morning I went to work. I was asked to design a new logo and boxes for a product line. That kept me busy. When I came back Caretas gave me a plateful of delicious Mediterranean food for lunch. While devouring my food Dave called and told me they were at PK's, so I rushed over as soon as I finished. Once there we chatted and had ice cream. Yea, more food! We didn't leave PK's 'til 7 o'clock. Dave and Jose hung out at my place for a bit before we decided on where we wanted to go for dinner. The first restaurant we went to was very popular, and unfortunately not vegetarian friendly. So we left without ordering anything, and tried a brand new place. Kam Hong Garden had a vegetarian sign right in the front so I thought they would have interesting and diverse dishes. I wasn't completely satisfied with their selection, but the food was decent. My favorite had to be their leek cake. The skin was super thin and crispy, and the filling had a hot burst of fresh taste and flavors. Yum! I really ate too much today. I didn't even mention the free lunch I got at the office. No I didn't finish it, I knew I was going to eat like pig later, hahaha!

Helping a friend feel less depressed

This was a good, restful day. I spent most of the day by myself and the rest hanging out with Caretas. She wasn't in the mood to leave her apartment, but thankfully she changed her mind. I definitely think going out this afternoon helped lift her mood. Of course I also tried to engage her in conversations and make her laugh. When we came back with our lunch, she was in a better, more cheerful spirit. I was happy that I got her to feel more relaxed and positive. She's always kind to me and it makes me feel good that I can help her see things in a brighter, better light.

4 days in a row

So I ended up working today too. When the week started I seriously didn't expect to work 4 days in a row, LOL! Is it weird to think that working is actually good for you? I mean, besides the paycheck and the feeling of security, I also found myself sleeping pretty well these past few days. When I have a goal and a set routine I seem to have less a problem sleeping through the night. Tomorrow I'm back to my normal, casual schedule, then on Saturday I have to work again. Overall pretty awesome week I have to say.

Work and Home

I worked half a day today, yay! I thought I was going to have lunch with Judy, but she told me her boss was giving her a hard time last week for taking too long a break. Oh well, there's always next time. I came home and immediately took a short nap. I didn't turn the AC on, so I didn't sleep that well on the couch. Caretas fed me some yummy soup and spaghetti with meatballs. She was feeling ill again. There was back pain, sciatic pain, stomach pain, etc. I wish I could help her, but all I was able to do was listen to her. I hope she feels better soon.

Night walk

I worked a full day today. Yay! I will go back on Wednesday too. So that makes another half a day for this week. I didn't expect to work 3 days in a row. It's very cool. Hopefully I will get a good night of sleep, I doubt it. PK asked me to go for a walk tonight. Even though I already went to the gym, I felt like hanging out with him. He wanted to go for a big walk, I convinced him that we should take it easy. So we just took a short route in the neighborhood. It was nice and quiet and breezy outside. I was glad I stepped out for a little bit.

Feeling FULL

I had a lazy Sunday today. Went the gym in the morning, had a nice nap in the afternoon, and hung out with Dave Jose Regina Anjelo and PK tonight. We went to Northern Chinese Restaurant and had a very delicious meal. The waitress was surprisingly helpful. We had a complete vegetarian dinner. Many were ordered off the wall specials (non-menu items) and they turned out to be great choices. The owner (I think he was the owner) came to our table a couple of times and asked us how the food was. I reassured him that they were all excellent. Afterwards we visited PK's new apartment, then it was off to desserts course at Fosselman's. Sundaes for everyone! Can we eat or what?! I am happy because I have work tomorrow and Tuesday. I know I won't be sleeping much tonight, but I feel good about having something to focus on and making myself useful.

Blessing. Real. Ambiguous.

I like to browse Youtube sometimes and find non-Chinese speaking members singing Ch-pop. It makes me laugh and feel good. It's just flattering. And the videos can be very funny or surprisingly good.

I'm extremely impressed by her voice and prounciation. Apparently she can speak many languages... and this girl can sing very very well.

Original "Zhu Fu" Blessing by Jacky Cheung



She is quite good and fun also. I love how she sings along to Amei's concert track and acts like the audience is cheering her on :)

Original "Zhen Shi" Real by Amei Chang



This guy really surprises me. It's not easy to pull off a girl song (in a different language for him too)... and he does it so nicely and effortlessly.

Original "Ai Mei" Ambiguous by Rainie Yang